SOCCER: Having once played sweeper on the Dunshaughlin Dynamoes B team that held the record for a defeat in the Meath and District League -- 16-1 at Windtown United in Navan and we were lucky to get the one -- I feel for the players at little known Spanish club Navata. They were beaten 27-0 by La Liga giants Villareal the other night when one of the winning strikers Jonathan Pereira managed to score seven times. With my new knee I might just offer my services to Navata!

SOCCER: Another of those too good to be true stories -- but this one is true. When Ipswich manager Roy Keane and his new players settled into their seats for their flight to Ireland last Friday they were welcomed on board their aeroplane by the captain -- one Mick McCarthy. Some of the cheekier Ipswich players did rib their manager about it apparently, but we’re not sure if they have a future at the club.

GOLF: New British Open champion Stewart Cink warmed up for his big win by Turnberry by basing himself at the wonderful Doonbeg links in Clare for a week, when he also hit the course at Lahinch and Ballybunion. Cink also found time to acquire a taste for Guinness during his time in the Burren county, so clearly Guinness is good for you. And good for your golf.

SOCCER: The former England coach Sven Goran Eriksson is in talks to become the director of football at English bottom tier side Notts County. I thought I was hallucinating when I first read this on the web on Tuesday morning, but it turns out the club’s new Arab owners want Eriksson or Glenn Hoddle on board. The world is gone mad.

SOCCER: Quote of the week came from a group of Shamrock Rovers fans as Ronaldo made his Real Madrid debut in Tallaght on Monday night. “You’ll never play for Rovers,” they sang, and they were probably right.

HERO OF THE WEEK: Nicolas Roche was always going to find it difficult to follow in his father Stephen’s famous footsteps when he took up a career as a professional cyclist, but on Saturday he proved he has the mettle for the job when finishing second in the 14th stage of the Tour de France. Still learning his trade, the young Irishman clearly has a huge future ahead of him and may just be a chip off the old block.

IDIOT OF THE WEEK: David Beckham claims he was only trying to shake the hand of an irate LA Galaxy fan when he tried to get into the crowd as they booed him during his comeback game at the Home Depot Center on Sunday. Beckham has been in football long enough to know no player should ever get involved with an angry fan. And let’s face it, the Galaxy fans are right to be annoyed about Beckham’s decision to hightail it to AC Milan for five months this year. Somehow I suspect his American dream is about to come to an end.