Chris O’Dowd stop making up jokes about Niall Horan--you are screwing up my twitter feed.
As a typically self-absorbed journalist, I go on every other day or so and do a quick type of my name in the search bar to see what people are tweeting about me --(“usually nothing”--wife).
But now I’m having to wade through oodles of tweets about Chris O’Dowd poking fun at Niall Horan the One Direction Adonis.
Twitter takes the Niall and the O’Dowd combination and presents them all to me (hundreds of them) as being about me.
The first day I was very excited thinking this was some major story I had stumbled into that I was somehow connected to.
Had Chris O’Dowd mentioned me as an inspiration? Had Niall Horan offered to sign a song with me?
I now know more than I ever need to about Niall Horan fans and how deeply upset they are that Chris O’Dowd said something nasty.
(Sorry, dear reader, I haven’t actually read what he said as I am only involved in the aftermath of this story.)
There are pages of them before I get to any mention of yours truly -- a terrible state of affairs for a self-absorbed writer.
They love their Mullingar Bachelor and Chris might as well have stepped on a landmine.
In the process he had blown up my twitter feed.
So Chris, make jokes about Kim Kardashian or Bruce Jenner or else change your last name.
I’m already jealous enough of all your success-- and so young!-- he kvetched ---beautiful wife, LA lifestyle, perfect new baby, great name for the baby, Art, endless creative energy, starring on Broadway, own series on television, former Roscommon minor football goalkeeper etc. etc. (I can match you, even beat you on that last one having played minor (and u/21) for Louth - ha).
Hey Chris, seriously -- Get off my twitter cloud.
And Niall, settle down and stop looking so cute. We Nialls are a hardworking lot having to scrape for everything we get.
You’ve had it way too easy young man. Get a real job.
Oops! hope that doesn't excite the fans against me.
UPDATE: Now it is happening on Google too! I’m excited by Google alerts for my name only to discover its Chris and Niall playing mean tricks again. Bah!