Through his website ‘Paddy not Patty,’ Marcus Campbell makes clear the important difference between ‘Paddy’ and ‘Patty’ just in time for this year’s St. Patrick’s Day.

When shortening the phrase ‘St. Patrick’s Day,’ many people erroneously turn to ‘Patty’ instead of ‘Paddy’ to replace the Patrick. No more, says Campbell on his website, whose header reads “The provisional government of Paddy, Not Patty to the people of the New World.”

Campbell breaks it down succinctly: “Paddy is derived from the Irish, Pádraig, hence those mysterious, emerald double-Ds. Patty is the diminutive of Patricia, or a burger, and just not something you call a fella. There's not a sinner in Ireland that would call a Patrick, ‘Patty.'”

Still curious about which shortened version of St. Patrick you should go with?

It's Paddy, not Patty. Ever.
Saint Patrick's Day? Grand.
Paddy's Day? Sure, dead-on.
St. Pat's? Aye, if ye must.
St. Patty? No, ye goat!

For Campbell, opting for ‘Patty’ is purely a ‘Daft Eejit Version.’

In addition, Campbell makes clear that shamrocks have only three leaves, Irish Car Bomb drinks and cupcakes are still considered controversial and shouldn’t be taken lightly, and in certain contexts, the term ‘Paddy’ can be read as ethnic slur.

Read more: Is the term “Paddy’s Day” offensive?

This helpful illustration will take you through the difference if it's still not sinking in: 

Paddy not Patty. Image: twisteddoodles / Imgur

Paddy not Patty. Image: twisteddoodles / Imgur

Enough is enough! "St. Patty? No, ye goat!"twisteddoodles / Imgur