Harry and Meghan are marrying today. Once again we will witness a circus for a fading empire, marriage between a prince and an American commoner, an orgy of Harry and Meghan fantasia and massive ratings and sales for TV and newspapers, raking in the mullah over the latest royal couple.
In this age of celebrity obsession, Harry and Meghan are right up there at the top. Even Kim Kardashian’s butt and Kanye West’s Trump antics cannot outshine these royals. The story’s got palace malice, media madness, sexy scenarios and the old Queen like a permanent chess piece, still on the board.
It's a cash cow for everyone concerned - except the British public, who must fork out $40 million for the security costs of having all the lords and all the ladies wave on parade to the commoners as they sweep by in their carriages after the event.
Little wonder that American comedian Amy Schumer compared the hubbub to the Westminster dog show except its dukes and duchesses on display, not dogs.
Actress Emma Thompson, one of Britain’s national treasures, has also expressed her exhaustion over the whole affair.
In an interview recorded in March but just released yesterday, she went to town on a pap who peppered her with questions about the royal wedding.
“[There’s] not a single thought about it in my head to share with you, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I haven’t even… It doesn’t occur to me actually, my son is getting married next year so I am much more sort of dealing with that but really I have nothing to say about it.”
And there’s at least one bar in England, the Alexandra Hotel in Derby, where anyone who mentions the big event happening today will be fined, with the proceeds going to charity. Now there’s a way to get some good out of all of this!
A Derby pub has banned its customers from talking about the royal wedding.— Fred McNeill (@fredmcneill) May 17, 2018
There are posters around the Alexandra Hotel to remind punters and if they slip up, they have to put money in a charity tin. You have been warned 🇮🇪😜👍👍👍 pic.twitter.com/5lq9ePgtCk
Today there are just Prince Harry and plain old Meghan Markle tomorrow they will be Duke and Duchess of Sussex, predicts The Sun newspaper, after their wedding.
I’m not sure the good people of Sussex have any say in the proceeding but at least they know it's a makey uppy name like William and Kate being Duke and Duchess of Cambridge -- whatever that title is.
You might remember Prince William took among other titles, Baron Carrickfergus. Many Irish took that as an insult, a matter of the royal family claiming Irish land. The prince was not amused.
After all, it was the landing point for King William of Orange when he arrived in Ireland to enforce Protestant nomination.
Harry, of course, had the lowest moment of any royal family member (and I include Prince Charles telling Camilla he wished he was her tampon) when he wore a Nazi outfit to a fancy dress party.
The most charitable interpretation is that he was too dumb to understand the anger and tempest that would follow.
A London Labor MP with strong anti-monarchy symptoms claims Harry actually is as thick as a brick. Dent Coad sparked anger and even death threats after she was quoted as saying: “Harry can't actually fly a helicopter, he tried to pass the helicopter exam about four times and he couldn't get through it at all so he always goes for the co-pilot.
"So he just sits there going 'vroom vroom'."
But Harry will do alright being a member of the “lucky sperm club” as Warren Buffet has dubbed those rich through birthright. Meghan has got her prince but the evisceration of her odd family has only begun. I’ll give her six month before the jingoistic press decides Meghan is the enemy within, what with her being a yank and all, and lets loose.
Then the battle royal really begins.
Do you care about the royal wedding? Will you be watching? Share your thoughts in the comment section.