I fall to both knees unlike Colin Kaepernick, but like the Catholic altar boy I was in my youth -- and I raise both hands towards Heaven -- to profusely apologize publicly and abjectly to your absolutely mighty President Donald Trump.
Given his recently announced noble decision not to visit this totally bankrupt little island in November, I hereby freely and fully confess that I have been petty and totally misguided in my criticisms of your magnificently compassionate leader until the scales fell from my eyes this month. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa is what I say to him now as stormy weather threatens all of us globally.
I am now lost in admiration of his extremely caring and thoughtful attitude towards a brief Irish visit in November. Now at last I see how and why he has become the man who is making America great again.
I know and ye know that after a very demanding six weeks for your president that he would have loved to have visited his multi-million golf resort in Doonbeg in west Clare for a round or two of golf and rest and relaxation. But, no, in fairness to him he cancelled that private trip for him because, in his wisdom and compassion, he knew that we, as a nation with a huge national debt, cannot at all afford the millions and millions of dollars which it would cost to deal with all the security and other logistics attached to the arrival in Clare and Ireland of the most powerful leader in the world.
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He is by far and away the largest employer in Doonbeg and is idolized by many there for what he has achieved in a job-starved rural district. He owns a significant slice, beside the resort, of the famed Wild Atlantic Way which he has helped to promote with his wish some time ago to build a Mexican-style wall around the resort. This noble leader has even taken action to protect the future of some rare Irish snails in his sand dunes.
As I said earlier, from my knees, after a very stormy political period back home in the U.S., he needs the rest in Doonbeg but, just to save Ireland a lot of worry and expense, he canceled. That is another piece of evidence that proves the width and depth of his intellect and unique style of leadership which, the whole world can now see clearly, has made America great again.
Ye are so lucky to have placed this great and unselfish genius in your White House. Ye should seriously consider keeping him there for another term.
There was even more considerate thinking behind his decision. Quite apart from the necessary screen of security and protection which would routinely be built around him for the duration of his visit, as for any world leader, it was certain as day that there would be noisy and well-organized protests both in Doonbeg and Shannon Airport for his arrival and also in Dublin if, as originally planned, he visited our capital city.
Those protests were already being organized and promoted by many organizations, political and others too, to be led by misguided persons like myself (until this week) from whose eyes the scales of reality have not yet fallen. Or folk with their own political agendas on this home front.
We are global experts in the dark arts of protest since the era of Captain Boycott of a few centuries ago now and protecting your great leader against such negative actions in the stormy times we are all living through today, including President Trump, would have hugely amplified the cost or adequately protecting him and his support group.
Again, in his infinite wisdom and great compassion, he knew that we cannot afford such huge expenditure in pre-Brexit times, and that is really why he canceled a trip he would have greatly enjoyed and truly needs just now. Working on his brilliant tweets on a 24-hour basis and traveling afterwards, despite the stormy conditions, up and down your continent leads one to marvel how a man of his years has the stamina to keep going.
And the recently revealed and shamefully anonymous criticisms of him, apparently from within the White House itself, according to reports, are clearly another source of strain which could, and would indeed, have likely been healed by a few rounds of golf on his Doonbeg links.
He will hopefully get the opportunity to quietly visit Doonbeg and lovely west Clare for his hard-earned relaxation and recovery when all the stormy sessions of today and tomorrow have passed over. In reparation for my misguided criticisms of the past, if I get the chance, I will be amongst the welcoming party, still on my knees, but bearing a placard reading Cead Mile Failte. That translates as a hundred thousand warm welcomes to those of you who do not yet recognize the phrase.
Can I get up off my knees now for a while please?