If you've always found culchies (Irish country people) hard to understand then you've come to the right place. The enigma has been rediscovered, the culchie code has been cracked.
Here’s a list of ten definitions:
1. “A few quiet ones” - The plan is to have a small number of beverages.
When the culchie says that he/she intends to ‘have a few’ do not under any circumstances take this saying literally. The culchie may be not be seen for 3 or 4 days because as soon as alcohol touches the lips the situation tends to escalate very quickly, sometimes leading to arrests, fights, pregnancies, and unexplained bruises. So for any wannabe culchies out there ‘Having a few’ is a dangerous concept that needs to be approached with extreme caution.
2. “Ahhhh Jaysusss” - Could mean either the person is after sitting down, getting up, or something has gone badly wrong.
For example, you know you’re getting older when you sit down for a period of time and then when you get up from your chair and say ‘ahhhh jaysusss’.
3. “He can hold his drink” - Can consume large quantities of alcohol without displaying the outward signs of intoxication.
This type of person is regarded by many others with reverence. Even though internally the person's liver may be shriveling down to the size of a peanut, this fact is overlooked, as the culchie holds in awe the individual who doesn't display outward signs of intoxication.
4. “She’s too cowld to snow” - Despite the fact that it snows in Siberia in temperatures as low as -50C the culchie is convinced that it won’t snow in his area because the temperatures have hit -4 or -5C.
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5. “On the rip” - Consuming vast quantities of alcohol over a number of days.
These "rips" can last anything from a couple of hours up to two or three days of solid alcohol consumption. Usually, the only sustenance is a packet of peanuts, or in some cases, a half-eaten takeaway that lies smeared all over the bedroom floor the next morning. At the end of one of these ”rips” upon wakening, the site of the takeaway induces groans and feelings of disgust in the stomach. The local stumbles cockeyed towards the toilet caught in a dilemma of whether to urinate or projectile vomit into the toilet. The gold tinted glow of alcohol has now long since subsided, and all that is left for the day's companionship is an empty wallet and a pounding hangover.
6. “If ya can’t lift her don’t shift her” - Don’t kiss her if she’s overweight.
It remains open to speculation as to what would transpire if an attempt was actually made to lift the female in question in order to ascertain “her liftabilty” suffice to say that a stiletto imprint might well be etched into your face.
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7. “Shphuuddds” - Potatoes.
The culchie dearly loves his spuds. In China its rice, but in Ireland its spuds.
8. “Did ya shift her, hiiii” - Did you kiss the person.
In most places, ‘shift’ means to move something. (ie) Shift the Car away, or, to Shift the bag of potatoes. But not if you’re from a country area whereby ‘shift’ means to stick your tongue down the opposites sexes throat and exchange massive quantities of saliva. Usually ‘the shift’ occurs in local nightclubs whereby the local has vast quantities of alcohol consumed in order to muster the courage to approach a member of the opposite sex and initiate a verbal conversation that will hopefully lead to ‘the shift’ and ultimately ‘the ride.’
9. “He doesn't know his arse from his elbow” - The person is clueless.
The individual concerned has such mental retardation that he would be unable to distinguish between his buttocks and his elbow.
10. “If me aunty had balls she’d be my uncle” - There’s no point in wondering about what might have been, or what might have happened.
There is a complete impossibility of your aunty having a pair of testicles, unless she was a transvestite, so this saying is used to illustrate the futility of the word ‘if’.
* “The Culchie Dictionary” can be purchased here. You can also like “The Culchie Dictionary” on Facebook. More of Seamus Hanratty's work here.