Hi Maureen,

I need your help.  My girlfriend Sharon came to visit me from Ireland and she asked if she could date my ex-boyfriend. John and I had gone out together for five years and almost got engaged, but decided we would be better off as friends.  We both agree to this day that our friendship is fantastic and we are lucky to have each other. 

I told her it was okay, since we broke up years ago, but though it was strange that she asked me that.  I personally would never have asked her to do that if the roles were reversed. 

But then she ended up spending the entire week with him, and even stayed at his house, and I got both annoyed and even a little jealous.  I feel like she used me, and that her agenda the entire time was to only come to see him.  I had the whole week planned and I did not get to see her the whole week.  She is supposed to be one of my best friends.

Not only am I jealous, the situation is even worse.  She told both John and I that she has a boyfriend in Ireland which she never told me about and that even though she likes John, she can't pursue the relationship.  Basically she said she wanted to see if John was better for her than her Irish boyfriend and decided that he's not.  Now he is heart broken.  Should I tell her I never want to speak to her again or am I over reacting? Best regards to you.  - Chelsea

Dear Chelsea,

She is not a good friend.  She basically used you and your friend John, and left him heart broken and you jealous, which is very normal for you to feel. 

I think you are right that she used this trip just to see him and to compare him to her boyfriend back in Ireland.  My suggestion to you is next time she asks to come and visit you, simply say you are busy that week.

If it comes down to her asking more than once, then you can take the time to tell her how you feel about how she treated you and your friend and that you're not going to let that ever happen again. 

I wouldn't bring it up now because she sounds like someone who enjoys drama, and she probably will like to know all the drama that she caused.  By not talking to her now, you will probably drive her crazy.  That will hopefully teach her a good lesson.  Thank you for writing. - MTN


Maureen Tara Nelson is NY's only Irish American Matchmaker. With over 12 years experience. She has over 1000 success stories.   She is also the most affordable Matchmaking service in NY.  She has offices in NYC and Long Island.  For more information, please call 1888-31-match or 516-444-2861.  Mention this article and you will receive a 10% discount.