He may have a criminal past - should I trust him and move on?
Dear MTN,

I really need your help as soon as possible. I started dating this great guy over a month ago. He is everything I have ever dreamed of. Last night he told me he loved me and said we shouldn't have any secrets from each other. He told me he just got out of jail six months ago and he was accused of raping a girl. He promised me he didn't do it. He said he was framed and the police didn't investigate properly and he couldn't afford a good lawyer. He also said he could have agreed to settle but that would mean he was admitted to wrong doing. He went to trial because he was innocent, but the jury convicted him, since his lawyer was terrible.

He begged me to stay with him. I am 39 and really would like to get married and have children. He's 47 and says he wants the same thing. He is a contractor and his company even took him back because they always believed he was innocent. I really think he is being sincere. However, if my family ever knew this about him, they would kill me. I also asked him for the details, but he said that was in his past and he never wants to look back. He said I need to respect that if we are going to stay together.

I trust your advice and really need it now. Do you think I should continue dating him. I also think I love him. I believe him. Do you think I am being a fool? Please let me know what you think about this.

Thanks. - Trisha

Dear Trisha,

I would love to know how you met this guy. I am guessing it was at a bar, or on the Internet. With both cases, there are no criminal background checks. Only you know if you can live or even date a guy who was convicted of rape. Remember, you only have been dating a month. A month is a short time for a guy to know if he is in love with you. It also sounds like he has an answer for everything. And why won't he share the details with you and explain the entire situation to make you feel more comfortable about dating him?

It's probably because he doesn't care.

Ask yourself if you would rather date and marry a guy without a criminal record. If the answer is yes than I suggest you make an appointment with my service. Everyone goes through a criminal, felony background check. Therefore, you will never have to worry about the guys in my service. We have 1200 of the greatest singles in New York. Call 516-444-2861 for a complimentary appointment with me personally and please mention that you wrote in to me. We will take great care of you so you don't have to settle. I have a feeling you are just settling with this guy because you want to get married. Good luck and let me know what you decide to do. - MTN

Maureen Tara Nelson is a private matchmaker for over 12 years with over 1000 success stories. She has won Best Matchmaker for the year for over four years in a row. She has appeared on numerous television programs, has been written up in many magazine articles and heard on many radio programs as well. She offers everyone a free consultation in either her Long Island or Manhattan office. For more information, please call 516-444-2861. Mention this article and receive a Fall discount.