Why can't Mickey find a skinny Irish girl?
Dear MTN,

I am embarrassed to write this but my mom is a huge fan of yours and reminded me that you are Irish American and not from Ireland, so hopefully you won't get mad at me for writing in this very important question I have.

I am 40 years old and am finally ready to settle down and hopefully have a family. I would love to marry a girl who is Irish, like me. That would make my mom who is in her 70's very happy. The problem I keep coming across is the same with every girl who is from Ireland originally and now lives in New York. They all seem to have the same look and attitude about themselves. They are all about 50 pounds heavier than they should be, they usually have short hair, not long like yours, and usually have a bitchy attitude.

I asked my last girlfriend who was exactly how I just described, if she thought she needed to lose a little weight and instead of admitting it she turned it on me and told me I've got a couple of extra pounds myself and I shouldn't be judging her. Well yes I could maybe lose about five pounds, but I also go to the gym three to five times a week to work on that. She never set foot inside of a gym. I asked her to answer my question and she told me that she thought she looked "just fine."

Well Maureen Tara, she is not "just fine" since she is about 50 pounds overweight. If she admitted it to me and accepted my offer to go to the gym together, we could have been married by now. I just wanted to see an effort on her part. But she clearly thinks that being 50 pounds overweight is fine.

Since we broke up last year, I've been going to the pubs with my buddies and we all say the same thing, that all the Irish girls are now looking the same, as I described above. What is going on?

Where can I find a nice, thin, Irish girl without an attitude. Please don't be mad at me. 

Thanks - Mikey

Dear Mikey,

I'm not mad at you but I can assure you every Irish girl reading this is. You are generalizing that the few Irish girls that you are meeting at pubs are what all Irish girls in New York look and act like. That is absolutely not the case.

In my matchmaking program I have hundreds of beautiful, thin, sweet Irish girls. I think you are just looking in the wrong places. I think it's time to call my matchmaking service where you can describe the way you wish the girl to look, while I am doing the hard work of matching up your personalities. Check us out at mtnmatchmaking.com. My screening process is that you need to be a nice, decent, quality man, emotionally stable, financially stable, and looking for marriage or a committed relationship. I hope to hear from you soon.

P.S. if you only want thin girls, make sure you get rid off your extra pounds that you mentioned about yourself, ha ha. - MTN