Christmas is a time for good cheer. But it's also a time for manufacturers to drag out their silliest gift items in hopes that desperate shoppers will snap them up for holiday giving.
Despite the wide array of imported, and often hand-crafted Irish products available, some shoppers will gravitate towards things that are green, shamrock-shaped and include references to beer and pots of gold.
Here are 10 crazy Irish-themed items you might be tempted to buy (hello, budding Fathers Christmas!) or that might wind up under a tree near you.
As a point of etiquette, if you get one of these, you are justified in either regifting it next year to the person who gave it to you or passing on that Chia Pet you got in the Secret Santa.
1. Irish Santa O'Claus Plush Green Christmas Costume
Forget the traditional Father Christmas get up and give this oddly elf-like getup a go on Christmas morning. The kids will cease believing in anything.
2. Lighted Irish Winged Shamrock Angel Christmas Tree Topper
As if your tree weren't green enough, you need a red-haired, shamrock-gowned Irish angel to perch on top. Because you're IRISH.
3. Luck of the Irish Green Sequin Christmas Santa Hat
For those who find the Santa O'Claus suit too wacky, a tasteful green sequined topper is just the thing. Except, of course, for the green sequins.
4. Fabriché Irish Santa with Beer Christmas Table Top Figure
Nothing says "I'm proud to be Irish" like a figurine of a fat man dressed in green clutching a stein of green beer and a shamrock-shaped beer mat. NOTHING.
5. Irish Girl Dancing the Jig Christmas Caroler Figure
She's Irish, she's dancing a jig (of course) and she's singing Christmas carols. That's a lot to ask from one ugly little figurine.
6. Celtic Charm Carved Woodcut-Style Irish Snowman Christmas Figure
Aside from the fact that this snowman looks too bundled up to stay frozen, he looks like he's flashing his Celtic charms, if you know what I mean.
7. Bag of eight 1968 Lucky Irish Pennies in Brilliant Uncirculated Condition
Imagine the reaction of your child on Christmas morning when they rip open their present and, instead of finding an iPod Touch, they find eight Irish pennies. (Current value in U.S. currency: 14 cents.)
8. Deluxe Hollywood Luck of The Irish Wooden Christmas Nutcracker
Bring a different kind of craic – or rather crack – into your life with this garish Irish variation on the classic Nutcracker character. The unlucky part: it doesn't actually crack nuts.
9. Personalized "Irish Pot of Gold" 8" x 13" Serving Tray
Your sister-in-law will never complain about how gift cards are the lazy way out after you present her (get it?) with this pot o' gold-festooned serving tray. Next year, she'll be happy to get McDonald's gift certs.
10. Musical Joy to The World Erin Go Bragh Irish Christmas Glitterdome
Another multi-tasker, this wind-up dome conveys the joy of Christmas in song while an "Irish" Santa plans to leave a lump of coal for the eejit who sent him the tacky "Erin Go Bragh" shamrock statue.