Dear MTN, What is with these girls these days. It's like any little thing bothers them and you can't make a mistake. I took a girl out to dinner the other night and I thought we were having a great time until the TV at the restaurant came on to the Presidential election. Now I know not to go too heavy into politics on a first date, but all I said was, "this is so crazy that the two democrats are making such a huge debate amongst themselves, and it really should be the democrat verse the republican making the huge debate. This election is going out of control." She didn't really answer me, which I didn't know if it was that she didn't follow politics, or had no interest in politics, but let's face it, politics is an important topic these days, and I am looking for someone who at least has an opinion on it, even if it is different than mine. The next day I called her and thanked her for a lovely date, which of course I paid for everything, and she said that she didn't think we were right for each other because she feels I'm much more involved in politics than she is. I made one comment, which I thought was appropriate since it was being shown on the TV. I really trust your opinion, is she as nuts as I think, or did I make a big mistake and try to apologize? - Ed Dear Ed, Unfortunately you broke one of my top ten rules on a first date, and you even know you did. You never, NEVER talk politics on a first date. Hearing how serious she was about it and that she is willing to never see you again for bringing it up does seem a bit extreme to me. Yes, you made a mistake. But an apology should be able to correct it. I have a feeling with this girl, that she's already made up her mind. I say, learn from the mistake, and move on. There are many other girls out there that are looking for a great guy who enjoys Politics. Just let them find out on the second date that about you. - MTN Dear MTN, I have been married to the same woman for almost 30 years. We have a good marriage, with our usual ups and downs. We have 3 great kids. I recently saw my wife looking on Match.com on the computer. She didn't realize I had come home and was standing behind her. Once she saw me she screamed and started a fight with me that I was sneaking up with her. I naturally am very angry at why she was looking on a singles site for men, and she won't even talk about that because she is mad at me. I didn't do anything wrong. I can't help it if she didn't hear me come in. Well that night we fought all night and she ended up sleeping in the guest room. I don't know what to do. I am just asking her a simple question as to why she was on the site, and she won't answer...Please, any advice at this point would be great. - Thomas. Dear Thomas, This whole crazy internet thing is ruining so many once healthy marriages. I am afraid to say that the fact that she won't answer your simple question and keeps reflecting it back on you, is a huge red flag. You do need her to answer the question, no matter what. Just prepare yourself for whatever the answer is going to be. Hopefully she was just looking for fun because the girls at work were all talking about it, and it is innocent. You need to ask her point blank, if anything is going on and if she's corresponding with any of these men. If she is, that's cheating. Maybe not physically cheating, buy mentally cheating. If that's the case, you both need counseling, and fast. I'm sorry you are going through this, but sometimes after 30 years, a one or two time visit to a counselor is just what the doctor ordered and might even bring you closer in the long run. Good luck. - MTN Dear MTN, I am a 25-year-old female that is in love with my best guy friend. He is so handsome, funny, and perfect for me. I am nervous that he does not feel the same way. We have such a great time together and I can totally be myself around him. I don't know how to tell if he likes me too. It seems like he always goes for very very pretty girls but they don't treat him right and they don't even like the same things he does. We both like the same sports teams, traveling, white water rafting, dogs, we have the same political views, but we also are different enough that we always have something to talk about. These are good things right Maureen? What should I do to see if he feels the same way as I do? - Sue Dear Sue, I am afraid to say this, but I always suggest you have the guy make the first move. Please don't tell your "friend" your feelings for him. If he likes you more than a friend, believe me, he will let you know. I personally have many guy friends, and we have a great time together, get along great, have fun, tease each other, go out together, and all those great things - but that is it! Think about your relationship in this following way...You have the best of both worlds. You have a great guy who is always in your corner and there for you, without any of the headaches of dating. If you were bold and told him your feelings, you will be taking a huge risk of disappointment. It's not worth ruining your friendship. Keep and enjoy your friendship, and if down the road your friend starts to develop feelings for you, believe me, he will let you know!!! P.S. Many girls don't have the luxury of having guys as friends, so be thankful for that blessing...I think it's the greatest thing in the world. - MTN Dear MTN, I met my wife five years ago and we got married last march. She is now pregnant with our first child and I could not be happier! The only problem is that she got laid off right before our wedding and has not made an attempt to find another job. Now that she is pregnant, I of course want her to be able to be home and take care of our baby, but I am so nervous I will not be able to be the sole breadwinner of the household! I make a good living, but babies are expensive and so is the cost of living! Even if my wife would take a part time job it would really ease my mind regarding our finances. My question is, how do I bring up this issue without causing a fight? - Tom Dear Tom, I really could have used a little more information on this problem to help me. I think it really depends on how much money you make, and how much extra money you have every month. You could try it out for a few months and see at the end of every month if you are able to make ends meat, then you are fine! But if you fall short every month, your wife will notice it as well, and maybe even volunteer to find a babysitter to go back to work. It's very difficult to find a job now for your wife, already being pregnant, and knowing she'll have to take off soon, so why don't you just talk to your wife, mention my suggestion, and she how she reacts. It will be a lot easier to make this decision once the baby is here. No matter what, things always work out! Just make sure, no matter what you do, even if you decide to get a second, part-time job, to take the time out and truly enjoy these upcoming years. These are the best years of your life bringing in a precious, beautiful baby into the world. Enjoy. - MTN Please email in your questions to MTN to [email protected] Maureen Tara Nelson is a private Matchmaker for the entire NY Metro area and has over 1000 success stories. She has about 500 active, attractive clients in her private data base, so if you are single and ready to find the love of your life, Call Maureen Tara Nelson, Private Matchmaking, Inc. 1-888-31-MATCH.
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