The Irish are famous for having a way with words and newspaper headlines are no exeption.
You can see for yourself in “Medium Size Town Fairly Big Story” written by TV3 journalist Ronan Casey, who has a knack for ferreting out the zaniest Irish newspaper stories. The book, published by Gill and MacMillian, has been described as “a window on the real soul of Ireland.”
Here’s a selection of some of the finest:
“Longford Couple Find Giant Spider With Sacred Heart Markings”
From the Longford Leader, October 2013: The couple noticed the markings on the spider’s back closely resembled the iconic image of the Sacred Heart.
“Council Cannot Think of Anything”
From the Clare Champion, 2012: The Kilkee Town Council could not think of a single motion to discuss between them in advance of the council meeting.
“Greyhound’s Race Ends in a Cement Factory”
Limerick Leader, March 2012: A Kilmallock dog trainer explained his relief when his dog who won a greyhound race and just kept on running out the gate was discovered in a nearby cement factory. “I was over the moon when I saw her.” Definitely cheerier than where we thought that one was going!
“Woman Rang 999  to Complain About Chips [French Fries]"
Sligo Champion, March 2012: A woman described as “bold as brass” by Judge Kevin Kilraine admitted she called the cops because she didn't like the chips she had just bought.
“Arsonist Sets Himself on Fire”
Carlow Nationalist, October 2011: An arsonist set himself on fire as he attempted to burn several cars in a local garage, a court was told.
“Artist Locked Up for Paying Fine”
Kilkenny People, August 2013: An artist who overpaid a fine was arrested because the check amount was over what he owed and was never cashed as a result. A court order for his arrest for not paying the fine was mistakenly made.
“Kerryman Tried to Steal Vibrators From Sex Shop”
The Kerryman, June 2011: A man was caught stealing two vibrators from a sex shop in Tralee. Cops found him in an altercation with the shop owner after the vibrators fell from their hiding place under his coat.
“Farmer Refused to Plough Field After Seeing Ghost”
Westmeath Topic, 2013: A farmer from Westmeath saw a ghost in the field where he was ploughing.
He said it “looked like a soldier with lots of chains around its neck, It took out a cross and blessed itself six times.”
“A Dung Deal at Ardfert Exhibition”
The Kerryman, March 2011: A painting made from cow dung is a prime draw at an art exhibit in the Kerry town of Ardfert.
“The painting does not smell as I used coffee grounds and mandarin oil to combat the odor,” said artist Ange Plastow.
“Driver Missed Checkpoint That Could Have Been Seen From Outer Space”
Tuam Herald, June 2013: A police checkpoint “could have been seen from outer space," a judge ruled, when a local man said he had somehow missed it and driven past. The checkpoint had a guard with a high visibility vest and patrol car flashing its lights. The defendant had no tax on his car, it turned out.
Which one is your favorite? Have you ever come across a really good one? Let us know in the comment section!