Our Irish contributor James O’Donnell has problems putting up a brave face when he’s asked about how lucky he is to be Irish.

Here is what he’d really like to say, he tells us:

1. I don’t like tea—I’m a coffee man.

2. I hate talking shite about the weather.

3. Spuds leave me cold especially French fries.

4. The rain isn’t soft. It’s a pain in the arse and it never stops.

5. I like Irish American tourists, they are sincere, good people.

6. Have a soft spot for the Brits and the royal family.

7. Irish dancing is endless, unsexy, and boring.

8. Redheads are rightly called carrot tops.

9. I hate "The Quiet Man," sexist and over the top.

10. Dublln is overrated, over priced and over there.

Forget your "tae"! Give me a cup o' Joe anyday!Thinkstock