|My girlfriend has stopped
trying to impress
I have a bit of an issue with my gal that I've been dating for a year now. When we first met she looked fantastic. She was thin, wore makeup, and dressed nicely. Lately she hasn't been trying to impress me at all. I know I sound superficial, but her personality is great and if she stayed looking as fine as she looked in the beginning, I would be asking her to marry me by now. She has recently put on an extra 30 pounds and doesn't work out at the gym anymore.
How should I bring up such a delicate situation without her dumping me for being an idiot? I really enjoy your column.
Thanks for your help.
- Danny (fake name)
I understand how this situation can be frustrating for you. There are some women out there that get into great shape and go all out to meet a guy, and then once they do, they let themselves go. Ladies, this is not the way to keep a man.
This is something that you do need to bring up to her, however, in a very tactful way. Since she used to work out and now she doesn't, I think that is the first issue that should be mentioned. If you work out, then it's easy. I suggest saying that you want to go back to how things used to be and you would like to start working out together. If you don't work out, maybe you too could benefit from losing a few pounds and suggest that you feel you both need to live a healthy life and that includes working out.
Once that is addressed, then a simple comment that you used to love the way she used to wear her makeup and a simple question of why she stopped, should be okay. Hopefully she will get the hint and be the girl that she portrayed when you first met. I wish you the best of luck. Keep me posted on her response. Thanks for writing. - MTN
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