|How my man handles his money...
I have been dating a man for five years now. He lives with me and I do love him. The problem is how he deals with his children from his previous marriage. His daughter started college in September and he was obligated to pay half of her tuition in his divorce agreement. He gave me a million excuses for why he wouldn't pay for it, and now he has to go to court for not paying. Now he has to pay for an attorney and that will probably cost more than if he would have just paid for half of the college bill.
My own ex-husband paid for all three of my children, and one of my kids won't even speak to my ex-husband. When I mentioned this to my boyfriend he got very angry. He told me basically that it isn't any of my business. I do not like confrontation, and other than this issue with his kids, he is a good man. I do not know if I should take the risk of losing him over this.
Do you have any advice for me. I love your column and love the way you say it like it is...
I understand your not liking confrontation, but staying quiet when you see your loved one making a huge mistake is another thing.
You know in your heart, regardless of the situation, your boyfriend should be paying for half of his child's education since it is in his divorce agreement. The fact you realize that he would rather spend more money in attorney fees than in doing the right thing says a lot about him. I wouldn't call that being a good father.
I suggest you not be afraid of losing him and speak your mind. The outcome is inevitable since the truth about him will eventually come out. Go with your heart and brain with your discussion. Tell him how you feel and do not be afraid of what you hear. If you find out that he isn't as good a man as you thought, then you are lucky to have found it out now, sooner than later. It sounds to me like you are afraid of finding out that he isn't as good a man as you want to believe him to be.
The problem is simple...he should be paying for half of his daughter's education.
Good luck to you.