For some my choice Irish phrases are a source of amusement, for others a source of confusion.

The majority of us speak the same language, but my sentences have been lost in translation on many an occasion since moving Stateside.

It occurred to me this morning when my friend emailed me concerned about where one of her guests would lay his head this coming weekend when he visits the Big Apple. “God knows where he will sleep!,” she reflected.

Irish people do certainly have a way with words. Despite the scrunched up faces of bewilderment when I pepper my stories with Irish lingo, I will always persist with our homeland dialect.

Here is a choice example of regaling a nights events from an Irish person’s perspective, the American girls in the office helped me translate.

Sur wasn’t I down in the boozer last night and the place was wedged, the craic was ninety. I saw this ride at the bar and he was giving me the eye. I thought to myself, you are sucking diesel now. Didn’t he waltz on over, but then I realized he was locked. I was scarlet for him. When I told him to sling his hook, he started effin and blindin. So in the end I didn’t get the shift.

Last night I was down in the bar and the place was packed. There was a great crowd. I saw a major hottie at the bar, and he looked over at me. I thought I was onto a winner. As he approached me I realized he was really trashed. I was super embarrassed for him! When I told him to get lost he cursed me out of it. So in the end, I didn’t hook up with anyone.

Read on for some of my favorite Irish statements, try and use one today. It’s sure to cause confusion.

-Top of the morning to you
Good morning, (no one in Ireland actually says this!)

-Give that a lash
Try that one out.

-Go away outta that
You’re not actually serious.

-Did ya see the head on that one?
She looks rather terrible.

-There was great banter out of him
We had a great chat.

-The place was wedged
The area was very crowded.

-The craic was ninety
We had a good time.

-He was locked, stocious, gee-eyed
He was intoxicated.

-Haven’t seen him for donkeys years
I haven’t him for a long time.

-Take that puss off your face
Stop sulking like a child.

-He ate the head off me
He verbally attacked me.

-Did ya get the shift last night?
Did you kiss anyone last night?

-Go way outta that!
Desist from telling me lies.

-That’s grand.
That sounds good.

-It’s a day for the high stool
It is a day to be drinking in a bar.

-Full duck or no dinner
Either do something right or don’t do it at all.

-Going anywhere nice for your jolliers?
Where are you going on vacation?

-That lad is a ride.
The man is rather good-looking.

-That lad is a muck savage
He is a person from the countryside.

-Scarlet for ya.
I am really embarrassed for you.

-Now we are sucking diesel
You are making good progress.

-That lad is a header
The man is a bit crazy.

-He made a holy show of himself
His actions brought shame on his character.

-I am knackered
I am really tired.

-That lad is an awful scab
That man is very thrifty with his money.

-Did you see the ronnie on her?
Did you happen to notice the facial hair on that female.

-Give me a half one
I would like an Irish whiskey straight up.

-Can you pick me up a nagan in the offo?
I would like some alcohol from the liquor store.

-Give me a pint of the black stuff
I would like a pint of Guinness.

-Did you see yer mano
Did you see that guy we both know?

- Are you heading for the chipper?
Are you going to the fish and chips shop?

-I'm pretty sure that lad is a fairy
I think he is a homosexual.