Posted by wolfhound at 4/7/2009 2:21 PM EDT

First off, let me say that The Wolfhound is a good -- well, tries to be a good Irish Catholic (wolfhound).

I say my prayers -- when someone's sick, or when I need money because that blasted horse ran like it was a three-legged pig.

I go to Mass on a "regular basis." Which is to say, as regular as most Irish Catholics I know.

I have definitely had as many Sacraments as I am entitled to, or was forced by my Mum to have. I have certainly made many good Confessions. Very good, I might add. Some were INCREDIBLY good.

And I certainly do unto others.

Which brings me to this news bit. What the hell are these high and holy muckey-mucks in the Church up to now?

Some official Church outfit has just finished a summit in Leeds. Which, as you know, is a city in another country. Priests at the meeting were told to question whether it was appropriate to say "good morning" to their congregants once they had ascended to the altar.

And sure enough, some priests in the Diocese of Leeds (a city in another country) told their congregations that they would no longer be able to greet them in such an undignified, informal manner at the start of services. After all, the head holy man in charge of this farce was worried that saying "hello" would be "too distracting" to the congregation.

The way this is going, priests won't have to be worried about saying "Hello." They'll be saying "Hello? Hello?! HELLO?!"

But the Diocesan Ones Giving Counsel Regarding Approporiate Correctness (DOGCRAP) only dug in deeper when questioned by the press.

"People might argue that if you go into a house, you say 'hi,' but the priest is not going into a house. He is going into a sacred service. We need to emphasise that the priest is president of the community."

The PRESIDENT? His Majesty sure didn't get my vote!

It may, or may not, if you have half a brain cell, surprise you to hear that this debate has been going on in the Church for several years. (Years?!) And the result of all this research has led DOGCRAP to the inevitable reason to call for action NOW.

As one of their leaders put it, "Are we doing a cabaret or are we celebrating the Eucharist?"

Just HOW foolish can this man sound? Let's keep the tape rolling: "The fear is, that if some guidance is not given and general decisions are not put down, the interpretation of the Liturgy leads to unsuitable things, like strobelights and girls in hotpants."