Determined to get every penny he can for his tell-nothing autobiography, the former Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Bertie Ahern applied to the Irish Republic's Tax Commission for a tax-break usually reserved for artists. And he got it.

The Artist's Tax Exemption Scheme was originally designed to assist struggling artists maintain a little more of their low incomes in order that the arts can thrive in Ireland. With Ahern's successful application, we are assured the perpetuity of the basest form of literature: the politician's memoir.

Published by Random House's Cornerstone with a payment to the Taoiseach of over €400,000, Bertie Ahern: The Autobiography is being beat on the Irish book sales charts--aptly--by Shane Ross's The Bankers: How the Banks Brought Ireland to Its Knees.

According to the Irish Revenue Commission's guidelines: "Income earned by writers, composers, visual artists and sculptors from the sale of their works is exempt from income tax in Ireland in certain circumstances."

Save deeming his I-did-no-wrong book of excuses as being the work of a high bullsh*t artist, Ahern has no legitimate claim to being a producer of arts.