This week we learned the GOP's best prescribed form of contraception is abstinence.

And if a woman decides she wants to get pregnant she can simply refrain from abstinence. The country's Catholic Bishop's are in complete agreement.

Call it small government of the bedroom.

Do you think I'm joking? 'Abstinence works 100 percent of the time,' Republican State Rep. Lynne Blankenbeker said this week. 'If you decide you want to get pregnant you can refrain from abstinence,' she said.

Your great grandmother will remember what she's talking about.

Blankenbeker, a New Hampshire lawmaker, made her remarks in the context of trying to explain why the Obama administration's requirement to provide insurance coverage for birth control should be overturned.
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Not content with the success they've had blocking gay people's attempts to form legal unions and make mature decisions about their futures together, this week the GOP decided that the American Catholic Bishop's Conference have laid the best groundwork for successful heterosexual arrangements too.

You don't need contraception when you have abstinence, you don't need a range family planning options when you should really be creating a family every time you have relations with your wife. The pope couldn't have said it better. God's law surpasses man's law.

As Governor Chris Christie just showed us last night, when it comes to a showdown between Biblical Law and the US Constitution, the GOP will always pick the Bible these days.

And don't think it will end with contraception. If you do become pregnant and want to consider your options, in Virginia they'll soon want you to take a mandatory vaginal sonogram first. The new GOP sponsored bill, which will almost certainly pass, makes no exemption for victims of rape and incest.

No wonder Rick Santorum is trending so well in the primaries then, he's the theocratic man of the moment. 'This contraceptive thing, my gosh. Back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly,' he enthused.

So gals, if Santorum becomes president, and the GOP really do start teaching you the true meaning of small government in your bedroom, you better buy yourselves an aspirin. You're going to learn the true meaning of the phrase Not tonight, I have a headache.

You may also want to buy a candle, I hear it's pretty dark in the Dark Ages.