"In addition to not knowing whether or not Africa was a continent, according to sources in the McCain campaign, Sarah Palin also didn't
understand the difference between England and Great Britain. And much, much more." — The Huffington Post
What doesn't Sarah Palin know, and when didn't she know it? It's a mystery for those of us in the global Irish community. Is London the capital of Northern Ireland to Palin? Or is London the capital of all of Ireland? Or is London a record company and not the capital of anything?
Alas, we won't have to wait too long for the wit (?) and wisdom (?!) of Sarah Palin. Her new book — something of an astonishment in itself in that it involves nouns and verbs — comes out today, and Amazon.com has carefully gauged the market for this Bible-like tome. The online bookstore has reduced the pre-order price of "Going Rogue: An American Life" from $28.99 to $9. Smart.
The Huffington Post has skillfully gotten its hands on a copy — hopefully not by paying full price — and has already had at it.
What we have learned about Palin so far is that just as there are cities, nations, continents and perhaps even planets she has never heard of, she has obviously never heard the wisdom of America's greatest writer, Mark Twain, who famously warned: "Better to remain silent and be thought the fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt."
There is no doubt left about Palin.
Like the Vatican, I do not believe it is necessary to actually read a book or see a movie in order to condemn it as complete, utter, heretical trash. And I could make better use of the $9 just by getting a very, very small coffee at Starbucks. And so, my judgment is that "Going Rogue" is garbage. God bless you, too.
Still, we can learn what to expect of her new crock-buster by looking at the best judge of the future: the past - which is rich with what we now call "Palinisms." The quotes and comments that this woman straight out of the movie "Fargo" made during the campaign provide a window into what seems to be the very empty house of her mind.
This brilliant top-ten collection is from the brilliant Daniel Kurtzman of About.com. Enjoy, and visit Kurtzman's surgical strikes and related videos that, almost pathetically, show her - and not Saturday Night Live comedian Tina Fey - saying these gems:
1. "As Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. " — Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience.
2. "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil." — Palin, in a message posted on Facebook.
3. "Who calls a shot like that? Who makes a decision like that? It's a disturbing trend." — Palin, pushing a conspiracy theory that "In God We Trust" had been moved to the edge of coins because of the Obama administration. (The chage was made by the Bush administration in 2007 and was later reversed by Congress.)
4. "We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.& — Palin, speaking at a fundraiser.
5. "Ohh, good, thank you, yes!" — Palin, after a notorious Canadian prank caller complimented her on the documentary about her life, Hustler's "Nailin' Palin."
6. "Well, let's see. There's ... of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but..." — Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade.
7. "All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years." — Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads.
8. "They're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." — Palin, getting the vice president's constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does.
9. "They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan." — Palin, speaking at a fundraiser.
10. "I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." — Palin, referring to a department that does not exist while attempting to explain why as President she wouldn't be subjected to the same ethics investigations that compelled her to resign as governor of Alaska.