Seasoned Irish burglar ‘Ronny’ (not his real name) has some novel tips for the aspiring criminal. The ideal crime scene getaway vehicle? A taxi.
“A couple of times...I called a taxi and got them to collect me at the gaff,” he told the Irish Times, speaking from a shelter for homeless addicts. “You tell them you’re moving and you want to put a bit of gear in the car, the plasma and that. And when they come you put the gear in and they drive you off. They have to know what you’re up to; they’re not thick. But you pay them the fare; you might give them a few quid extra to keep their mouth shut.”
‘Ronny’ has accumulated over 200 convictions in thirty years; he’s been stealing since he was “five or six,” he told the Irish Times, and Garda [Irish police] caught on before Ronny turned ten.
He first stole at the request of a family friend with whom he was staying when he was about five years old.
“They’d have me wheeling shopping out of the shopping centre without paying, food and all that stuff,” he told the Irish Times.
Later on, he and his friends honed their technique by competing to see who could steal the most cans of Impulse at once.
Ronny’s skills are such that he claims no home is impervious to his theft.
“There’s no door or window you can’t get past with the tools: a Philips screwdriver, a jemmy bar, a hammer,” he told the Irish Times. “When you get in, if the alarm goes off you’ve two or three minutes [to] fly around the gaff looking for the money. If you have a car with you and if the gaff is not in an estate, you might stay a bit longer: get the plasma, the PlayStation, Xbox, all the games and all that. If you don’t leave prints forget about it, the Garda’ll never get you.”