Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Fallon, he’s everywhere we look, Vanity Fair, New York Magazine, all the trendy magazines.
He’s handsome, so talented, a comic genius, a wonderful husband, and a father.
It’s almost too much.
Here is what we don’t like:
1. He’s way too nice according to all the articles written about him. He must have some vice!
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, JIMMY?
2. He’s not an odd looking Irishman...like Conan O’Brien. That cute pet squirrel look is meant to be endearing.
He got the brains and the looks?
3. Thirty-nine-years-old my ass! Couldn’t tell him apart from Bruce Springsteen who is 64!
You’re not fooling anyone, Fallon.
4. Thinks he is just as good a musician as “The Boss.” Tiny Tim maybe.
I don’t think ‘laughing at your own jokes’ is an instrument.
5. Fallon doesn’t really come from New York City. Some hole in the wall upstate, Coxsackie maybe?
Just cause you were born here doesn’t mean you’re from here.
6. Jay Leno likes him...and he hated Conan.
Like, what!? Someone’s into chins I think.
7. He came from a normal loving family. What?! No dysfunction, broken home...how boring?!
“The Most Boring Up-Bringing” A memoir by Jimmy Fallon.
8. Got his start in reading the news as SNL’s Weekend Update anchor.
Okay, but where’s the struggle? Earn your fame.
9. Likes to hang with Lorne Michaels, famed producer of “Saturday Night Live”.
You got some brown on your nose there, Jim?
10. Expects to do the “Tonight Show” for 20 years. Help! Where’s my chimney outdoor aerial to change the channel!
Well then, I hope TV doesn’t exist in 20 years.