Lokking for that Mr Wonderful to sweep you off your feet this weekend?  That man who will make your life a dream come true?  Well, heed these warnings well, because if you meet some of the dropkicks mentioned here, your life will be a dream alright, a living nightmare!

 “I ONCE went on a date when I was around 18 with a guy called Red (the color of his hair too). Our parents were friends, and his family had a recent tragedy, so to be honest it was a sympathy date. I was in no way attracted to him.

“We went to a pizzeria, where it was extremely romantic and quiet, with couples and candles everywhere. Seated a few tables away was my gorgeous ex-boyfriend with his equally gorgeous girlfriend, the girl he ditched me for. All I wanted was to be cool when I saw him, but instead I was on a date with a guy known as the village idiot.

“Anyway, the awkwardness between us while waiting for our food was unbearable. Along came our pizzas, and they were heart shaped! Cringe!

“My date complained to the waitress about everything -- the wine she recommended wasn't what he wanted, the knife was dirty, even that there was too much cheese on his pizza! It was terrible. Everyone in the restaurant (including my ex) could see and hear, because the restaurant was so quiet.

“The final straw came when he went to cut his pizza with a knife and fork, and ended up flinging one half of it on the floor because he was being too vigorous! He cursed and blamed the waitress for the pizza being too hard!

“I thought I would die. I pretended my asthma was bad from the candles in the restaurant and said I needed to go home.

“To make matters even worse, he called his parents to pick us up and drop me home. They were all excited that we had been on a date, and encouraged us to go on another.

“What the hell was I supposed to say! I mumbled something about my asthma being too bad to speak, and I ran into my house in shame.”

– Laura, 24,  Co.  Meath now living in Yonkers

“I HAD a huge crush on this older man for a long time. He was the bartender in an Irish bar I used to drink in downtown.

“Anyway, finally, through a friend’s intervention he asked me out. We went for a nicely priced meal for our second date in a cool restaurant in SoHo. I was delighted with everything until he started showing his true colors.

“He was 40 years old and I was 26. He told me that he wouldn’t be able to see me for a while because he was going to Florida to stop the assassination of George Bush. Then he told me he was a secret agent and this was his cover -- bar working.

“In realty he was a 40-year old delusional man who had schizophrenia, so I got out of there quickly. And the sad thing is he truly believed he was a Secret Service agent.”

-- Caroline,  34,  Belfast, now living in Manhattan

“I WAS dating a guy from home for a few weeks. Things were going just great. I really thought I had found the man of my dreams until one day I overheard him on the phone.

“I let myself into his house to surprise him for his birthday -- he had given me a key the week before -- and I heard him in the bedroom on the phone. I listened to his conversation through the door and heard him talk about work.

“I was just about to go into the kitchen and wait until I heard him talk about ‘the bird he met on Saturday night in a club in the city.’ He told me he had to work overnight on a job downtown so I stayed at home.

“After listening for a few more minutes I heard him say how he and his ‘bird’ checked into a hotel in the city, and she even bought him breakfast the next morning.

“I wasn’t long letting him know I was in the apartment. That was the end of that. Funny, because I still see him around the neighborhood.”
Claire, 33, Co. Clare now living in Queens

“I WAS going out with a guy for two years but I really didn’t love him. It was a fun relationship and he really did anything for me, but it finally got boring so I ended it.

“A few weeks later I saw him at a gathering and he asked me to go outside because he needed to tell me something important. He said he was at the doctor’s a week ago with headaches, and it turned out he had a brain tumor and they gave him six months to live.

“His dying wish was to have me back. I was devastated for him so I agreed to go back with him.

“After a week of crying myself to sleep at night it suddenly hit me that he was in a very good mood for someone who was dying. It turned out he never had a brain tumor and just used it as an excuse to get me back. What a freak!”
Eleanor,  31, Kerry now living in Woodlawn

“I used to model when I was very young. On one of the jobs I met a guy who was drop dead gorgeous. He was also a model and about the same age as me. He was so handsome I got nervous every time I was even in the same room as him.

“Anyway, I finally got the courage to speak to him, and when I did I mumbled something about him having nice hair. Weeks later I met him at another job. He showed interest in me this time and asked could he drive me home.

“In the car I noticed he was eager to ask me something.  I was so excited. I was going to be his girlfriend I thought. Just as he pulled up outside my house he said, ‘Can I ask you something?’

“’Sure,’ I said confidently. He wanted to know if I would ask my best friend to go out with him.  I was crushed. So crushed that I said she had a boyfriend, (she didn’t) and that he wasn’t good enough for her anyway.

“He asked me why. I said, ‘Because you smell.’ That was the only thing I could think of -- because you smell. We never looked or spoke to each other again.

“Last I heard he owned a string of pubs in Dublin.”
Elaine,  29,  from Dublin now living in Boston