A new business lets you send your enemies (and friends) a potato, complete with a personal message.

PotatoParcel.com will scrawl a message on a potato with a Sharpie and send it through the mail. “Completely anonymous… completely hilarious,” advertises the website, which urges potato senders and receivers to post a photo of their potato with the hashtag #potatoparcel.

You have your choice of small, medium, or large potato. A large will set you back $9.99, so it might just be cheaper to send your own grocery store potato through the mail, if you must.

Cosmopolitan’s Tess Koman tried ordering the potato with a message for herself. 

She describes her experience: “… When I ordered my potato, I thought it would be funny to have it say “YOU KNOW WHY.” A month later, I am unsure of what I was thinking. Regardless, the potato came all beaten up in a tiny envelope from Dallas, Texas. It was all so … beige. It made me sad. 

“Hours later, I am still sad. Why would I send myself a sad potato? Why did it take so long to get here? Why is the potato soft? Potatoes have to go through a lot to get soft. How old is the person at PotatoParcel.com who did this to the Internet, to me?  

“I take away from it this: Revenge is indeed a dish best served cold. And half-rotten. You know why.”

A photo posted by tesskoman (@tesskoman) on