Earlier today, Mashable.com posted a brilliant article called 'The 13 Weirdest Interview Questions You'll Hear in 2014'. The list lives up to its title. We at IrishCentral decided we'd do our best to answer them. We're pretty pleased with our answers and we can't see how anyone wouldn't hire us. 

1. “Are you more of a hunter or a gatherer?” - Dell

To be honest, I'm neither. I just walk to the nearest fast food joint like anyother human in 2014.

2. “What is your least favorite thing about humanity?” - ZocDoc

Easy. Sociopaths.

3. “If you could throw a parade of any caliber through the Zappos office, what type of parade would it be?” - Zappos

C'mon. Really? What do you think? Here's a hint, it's in March.

4. “How many square feet of pizza are eaten in the U.S. each year?” - Goldman Sachs

Not enough. 

5. “It’s Thursday; we’re staffing you on a telecommunications project in Calgary, Canada, on Monday. Your flight and hotel are booked; your visa is ready. What are the top five things you do before you leave?” - ThoughtWorks

Wait. It's Thursday? 

6. “Have you ever been on a boat?” - Applied Systems

My uncle’s a fisherman, so I feel very comfortable and natural on them.

7. “Describe to me the process and benefits of wearing a seatbelt.” - Active Network

Ha! Don't need one. I've got a horse outside.

8. “How does the Internet work?” - Akamai

It's a box with a blinking red light. It works so long as you don't drop it or venture too far off.

9. “If you were a pizza delivery man, how would you benefit from scissors?” - Apple
9. “If you were a pizza delivery man, how would you benefit from scissors?” - Apple

It would help me get tips.

10. “Why is a tennis ball fuzzy?” - Xerox

Technically, tradition and also more control. It's the smell that we can't figure out.

11. "Can you instruct someone how to make an origami 'cootie catcher' with just words?” - LivingSocial

Yeah. Look it's so easy even the French can make it. (Which explains why kids make them, or used to. Now there's an app for that).

12. “How honest are you?” - Allied Telesis

As honest as Shakira's hips.

13. “If you were on an island and could only bring three things, what would you bring?” - Yahoo

I'd only need two things. Sun screen and whatever this thing is.

So when you say 'Don't call us, we'll call you.' When should I expect to hear back from you? Hello?