Paul Emsley's painting of Kate Middleton

I’m sorry, but that new portrait of the Duchess of Cambridge makes her look like she is posing for a mugshot or Lindsay Lohan after a late night out.

I don’t think much of royalty, but I do agree that Kate is a beautiful woman and if you think this portrait captures that beauty then I suggest you get rather large rose-tinted spectacles.

The white faced, puffy eyed incarnation of the future queen makes her look much older, and she is vaguely cross eyed, like she’d had too much gin to imbibe -- a la Lindsay Lohan.

Then there’s the half smile that looks like a Chucky evil grin, not convincing at all.

She looms out of a black background rather like a Halloween monster emerging from the deep.

How she could have liked this portrait is a mystery to me and I’m sure millions of other people when they see it.

The artist said she was too beautiful to be painted, and he’s right about that. He certainly has not caught that beauty or that timeless English Rose quality.

I’ll prefer to call it “Lindsay After a Night Out” actually.