Back Again in the USA

What happens when a move back to Ireland for a family does not work out? APRIL DREW speaks to one family that's back in New York after a rough year back home.AFTER living in New York for 16 years, Co. Kerry natives Gary and Noreen McGovern decided it was time to move back to Ireland and give it a go. One year later they found themselves back in New York, and this time they are staying put.Noreen, 42, and her husband Gary, 43, came to New York in June 1990. "Since I was small I would talk about America. I would even put on an American accent and pretend I was from here," said Noreen in a recent interview with the Irish Voice. "The minute I got off at Kennedy Airport in 1990 I knew I was home." Then why did Noreen and her husband decide to move back to Ireland in 2006? "We always had it in our heads once the kids were born we'd go back home," she said. "We felt we were missing out on so much stuff like weddings and christenings, and our parents were getting older. In 2006 we decided it was now or never." The McGoverns have two children. Gary, 10, and Skye, nine. Gary was eight and Skye was seven when they decided to move back to Kerry.Noreen and Gary, who received green cards two years after their arrival, made it their business to obtain U.S. citizenship before they moved home. "By having citizenship we always had the option of returning if we didn't like Ireland," explains Noreen.After packing their New York life into a container, the McGovern family said goodbye to their friends in the Bronx in August 2006 and moved home to Kerry. They were very excited, especially the kids. Both Gary and Noreen come from large families. "Both of us come from a family of seven," said Noreen. Between the pair they have 21 nieces and nephews. "They (the children) loved spending time with their cousins when we went on holiday, and although they were sad leaving their friends behind they were very excited to move to Ireland." The family rented a house in Farranfore, half way between Tralee and Killarney, and enrolled the kids in Currow national school. They were ready to begin the next chapter of their lives.Three weeks into that new life, Gary's 64-year-old mother died unexpectedly of a brain aneurism. Two weeks after that, Noreen's father fell at home and broke his hip, ribs and color bone. The McGoverns were kept busy, both emotionally and physically. Noreen was about to take her first disliking to her new home. The medical care her father was getting was "desperate," she felt. "They (doctors and nurses) were more worried about their 10 o'clock breaks than looking after my father," she recalls.Noreen was no stranger to hospitals. In 1995 she had open-heart surgery in New York. "They looked after me so well here, they treated me like family and followed up constantly," she says. Unfortunately, that was not the experience she was receiving at Tralee General Hospital in Kerry where her father was recuperating. "There were times when I knew more about my father's condition then they did. Don't get me started," she said angrily. "I walked in one day and they were shaving my father as he was eating his dinner. I asked them did he order shaving foam with his meal."It was only a matter of weeks before the kids began to feel homesick for New York. Gary junior kept relatively quiet, but Skye was making sure her parents knew she wasn't happy. "I just want to let you know you've ruined my life," Skye told her father during Christmas of 2006. A few weeks into the school year, young Gary came home one day and told his mother that a little boy said, "If your sneakers don't cost more than ?70 then they're not a name brand." Noreen was flabbergasted. She also felt some Irish people she encountered were just waiting for an opportunity to "have a go.""They would often say, 'Well, you're not in America now,'" said Noreen.It got to the stage where Noreen, who is extremely outgoing and friendly, chose not to involve herself in conversations so she could avoid hurtful remarks. "You would nearly need to wear a coat of armor," she said, shaking her head in disappointment.Employment was also an issue, like it is for many returning immigrants. Gary, who worked with 32BJ, New York's building service union, found it very difficult to get a job in Kerry. "We were dipping into our savings all the time," said Noreen. Skye slowly began to rebel against her new home. "Skye was more American in Ireland than she was here. She didn't want to lose her identity. She got more of an American accent, she would sing 'God Bless America' all the time and always wore baseball caps," said Noreen. Skye didn't want to learn Gaelic in school. On St. Patrick's Day she refused to wear anything Irish. "Now that she is back here, she was all out in her green on St. Patrick's Day," said Noreen. During their 10 years in New York with their children, the McGoverns were always involved with their kid's activities. Noreen found it strange that in Ireland people weren't interested in watching their children's sports or playing with them. People in Ireland found it even stranger that Noreen would spend her Saturday dressed in a tracksuit and watch her kids play basketball for an hour. "You're much more involved with your children's activities here and we like that," she said, describing herself as often feeling like "an outsider looking in."Things that are taken for granted in New York are considered luxuries in Ireland, according to Noreen. "You can't just decide if you don't feel like cooking that you are going to go out and eat dinner like we often do here. That would be blowing a whole week's wages," she explained. Finally, after much discussion and a family vote, the McGoverns decided to move back to New York in September 2007. "It was definitely the hardest decision we had to make," said Noreen.She had six of her family members on the phone crying and her mother begging them not to get on the plane. "I would have liked it to have worked in Ireland because our families are all there but we really were torn between two countries," Noreen said.When the McGoverns decided to finally leave their families were heartbroken. "It was the most awful thing having to leave my father who was sick," says Noreen.She thought he would last until Christmas. Two weeks after returning to the Bronx, he passed away. "That was very hard," she said sadly. Luckily for the McGovern's their close friend, Eileen Dillon provided them with accommodation upon their return to New York. "If it wasn't for Eileen we wouldn't have been able to come back. She really gave us the start we needed here again." The McGoverns worked as superintendents for a building owned by Eileen and her late husband John in the Bronx for 11 years. "They treated us like their own kids," Noreen said. Although it was "heartbreaking" leaving her family once again, and this time knowing it was to settle into a life in New York, Noreen said there was a silver lining. "It was the right time, it was meant to be," she says.Three weeks after landing in the country, Noreen had to undergo another heart operation. "I was just so glad we were back in New York and not having to deal with the Irish medical system," she said. The McGoverns have no regrets going home for the year. "I'm really glad that we tried it out and the year we picked worked out great, and luckily the year we came back was as perfect," she said.Gary, who is back working with 32BJ, and Noreen, who is hoping to get a place as a student at Grace Institute School of Business, are settling back into life in the Bronx and will continue to visit Ireland as much as they can.