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Gilligan's Gourmet: Pork spare ribs with barbecue sauce recipe

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INGREDIENTS: 
 
3 pounds pork spareribs cut into two rib pieces 
Salt and black pepper 
1 quart of the secret barbecue sauce 
 
INSTRUCTIONS: OVEN METHOD 
 
Salt and pepper the ribs 
 
Place the ribs in a roasting pan with inside of ribs down 
 
Place the ribs in a 300 degree F oven until browned (about 1 hour) 
 
Drain fat from pan 
 
Spoon about 1 cup of the sauce over the ribs to coat them with a thin layer 
 
Turn the ribs over and coat with more sauce 
 
Bake 45 minutes 
 
Turn and coat the ribs with the remaining sauce 
 
Bake until tender (about 40-60 minutes more) 
 
INSTRUCTIONS: SLOW COOKER METHOD (CROCK POT): 
 
Salt and pepper the ribs 
 
Brown the ribs in a skillet over medium low heat 
 
Pour enough sauce in the crock pot to cover the bottom 
 
Put one layer of ribs in the cooker and pour a thin layer of sauce over the ribs 
 
Put one more layer of ribs in the cooker and pour a thin layer over those 
 
Continue layering until all the ribs are in the cooker 
 
Pour remaining sauce over the ribs 
 
Cook on high heat for one hour 
 
Turn heat down to low and cook about 6 hours or until very tender 
 
INSTRUCTIONS: BOILING: 
 
(Spareribs are sometimes boiled and it does speed up the cooking time) 
 
Place the ribs in a large stock pot and cover with boiling water 
 
Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 30-45 minutes or until the ribs are tender 
 
Drain and place ribs in a shallow or low roasting pan 
 
Pour my secret barbecue sauce over the ribs, cover and refrigerate for 2 hours 
 
Drain excess sauce into a bowl (do not leave excess sauce on the ribs or they may burn while grilling 
 
Grill ribs for 30 minutes, basting with the sauce frequently the last 15 minutes of cooking 
 
THE SECRET BARBECUE SAUCE RECIPE! 
 
Whatever you wish to grill or barbecue, this sauce recipe is what you need to please your palate. 
 
The restaurant recipe was developed by me and one of my chefs a number of years ago and has been a favorite restaurant recipe ever since. I even have restaurant guests who request to buy it in bulk for use at home. 
 
Now they, and you, can make this secret restaurant recipe at home.
 
INGREDIENTS: 
Makes one quart. 
 
1/2 cup finely chopped onion 
1 tablespoon butter 
3 cups of tomato puree 
2 tablespoons Lea and Perrins Worcestershire sauce 
2 tablespoons A-1 Sauce 
2 tablespoons Heinz 57 Sauce 
1 tablespoon yellow mustard 
1/2 cup brown sugar 
2 1/2 tablespoons honey 
2 1/4 teaspoons liquid smoke 
2 1/4 teaspoons red wine vinegar 
Cayenne to taste (optional – start with 1 teaspoon) 
Salt and Pepper to taste 
 
INSTRUCTIONS: 
 
Heat a large sauté pan or sauce pan over low heat 
 
Add butter and onions and cook until the onions are soft 
 
Add all other ingredients, turn heat up to medium-low and bring to a boil 
 
Turn heat down to low and simmer sauce for 20 minutes, until flavors blend 
 
Remove from heat, taste and correct seasoning 
 
Store in refrigerator uncovered until cool and then cover or use immediately 
 
To thin sauce, use any of the following: water, beef or chicken stock, white or cider vinegar, apple juice, wine or beer. 
 
To thicken sauce, mix 1/4 cup cold water or other liquid (above) with 2 tablespoons cornstarch and add to sauce a little at a time until you have achieved the correct consistency. 
 
TA-DA! That's it. Now you and your family can enjoy these wonderful pork spareribs - go ahead, use your fingers, just have extra napkins handy. :-) 
 
AND FINALLY…. After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and Barbecue season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.
 
When a man volunteers to do the Barbecue, usually on a Saturday, the following chain of events is put into motion: 
 
Barbecue Routine
 
1) The woman buys the food.
 
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
 
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
 
Here comes the important part: 
 
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
 
More routine....
 
5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
 
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
 
Important again: 
 
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
 
More routine.....
 
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
 
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
 
And most important of all: 
 
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
 
11) They tell good old Aussie barbie jokes like:
 
Question: What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? 
Answer: A stick. 
 
12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.... 

Footnote
 
If the Barbecue catches fire then the man gets out the hosepipe.
 
Meanwhile, the woman calls the fire brigade.

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