Wait for the proposal - after seven years shouldn't he have put a ring on it?!


Dear MTN,

I have been with my boyfriend for seven years and everything is great except whenever I bring up marriage he gets weird to the point that I do not bring it up anymore. How long is too long to wait for a proposal? My parents love him and I love his parents. The only thing I can think might be holding him back is that I'm Catholic and he is not religious at all. He knows I want a church wedding, and I know he doesn't want a mass. He would need to take some classes in order for us to have a mass in a Catholic church. My three sisters all got married in the church with a mass, so it is really important to my family.

Do you think this is the problem, or do you think there is something else wrong that he does not want to marry me?

 - Traci

Dear Traci,

I would have no way of knowing if there is anything else preventing him from proposing to you, however I am sure that this is a huge problem for him. If he is not religious at all, for him to have to take the necessary classes in order to get married in the Catholic church with a mass, is a huge undertaking. If he does this for you, boy he really loves you...However, please keep in mind that even if he does do this for you, he is probably feeling like he'll be a liar if he sits through the classes. You really are asking a lot of him.

I can understand completely you wanting this type of wedding, being a Catholic myself, however, did you really take the time to decide if he is the right man for you? If you are very religious and he is not, that is a major conflict with compatibility. That could cause many problems later in your marriage.

I think you should ask him if he really is up to taking on the responsibility of taking these classes. Then I think you should ask yourself just how important it is for you to have everything you have dreamed of for your wedding. One of you has to give in for this marriage to take place. I bet he is in no rush to bring this subject up to you, and that is why he hasn't proposed yet.

You need to discuss this with him and decide together if it is meant to be. Only you two can decide that. Best of luck to you. Please let me know what happens.

 - MTN


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