The spark is gone - from passionate love affair to comfortable friendship


What do you do when that spark of passion dies
What do you do when that spark of passion dies
Dear MTN,

I have been happily married for the past ten years but recently I have noticed that our marriage has turned into more of a friendship then the romantic relationship it used to be. We never argue but we also never have sex.

I apologize for being so crass but I was unsure of another way to phrase it. In the beginning like most couples the physical part of our relationship was pretty constant. However, in the past year the frequency has dwindled to practically never.

My friends have asked if I think he is having an affair and to be honest there are no other indications that he might be, other than this one issue. Does the physical part of a relationship just cease to exist with time? Should I be concerned that he might be having an affair? And how do I bring up the subject without offending him if he does not even realize there is something wrong?

Thanks for your help. You answered a question for a friend of mine last month and I was so glad that you told her the same advice I've been giving her for years. We are both on the same page. I agree with all the advice you give your readers. I hope you can help me too. 



Read more on Irish dating here

Dear Susan,

I think what you are experiencing is what they call the "seven year itch." It does not have to happen at exactly the seven year mark, but most couples go through something similar. It is not something to worry about unless there are other signs.

I would not be worried about insulting your husband as he is probably thinking the same thing but may be afraid to bring it up to you. There is nothing wrong with making the first move or having open communication about the subject. Your husband will probably be relieved and happy that you are looking to enhance your relationship.

I suggest you take the necessary steps to enhance the romance in your relationship, such as splurging for a sexy negligee and set the scene for a romantic night alone. Light some candles, draw a bubble bath, open a bottle of wine, and tell your husband all the things that are wonderful about him.

Try doing this on a weekly basis.

Hopefully this helps.

I wish you the best of luck, Please let me know if this works.




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