I’ve lost weight, how can I get my boyfriend to acknowledge my achievements and pay me some attention?

How do I get my boyfriend to notice me?
How do I get my boyfriend to notice me?
Dear MTN,

I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and during that time we both put on a substantial amount of weight.  Recently I have been working out, dieting, and getting healthy, however my boyfriend has not and shows no interest in doing the same. He does not even compliment me on my recent weight loss or seem to notice!

I understand that after five years he is comfortable with me and the relationship and may not feel the need to make the type of change I am but I am worried that all these years I may have mistaken comfort for love.  I also find myself wanting to see what else is out there.  I feel like if I end things with him now that I have lost weight and started receiving attention from other men that everyone will see me as shallow but it is my feeling that he is really no longer happy with the relationship either.  I feel like he may be comfortable as well, because if he were still in love with me wouldn't he want to take a healthy step forward with me or at least recognize my accomplishment? 

Please help me I am very confused.

HELP! - Jordan

Dear Jordan,

That is great news about yourself.  I know how you would love if your boyfriend would be proud of you and tell you that he is, but since he isn't, I think you need to assume that he is jealous.  You both fell in love with each other when you were heavy.  Now you are thin, and he is still heavy.  I would suggest asking yourself if you are still in love with your "heavy" boyfriend?

If you aren't then you need to be honest with him.  Hopefully he will see all the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle and will be motivated to lose weight for himself, not for you.

Also remember if you leave him for another guy and then one day you put weight back on, how would you feel if that guy dumps you because you gained weight?  If you love someone, you love them for who they are, not for how much they weigh.  Good luck to you.  - MTN


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