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Choices over children getting in the way of our perfect marriage proposal

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Waiting for him to pop the question but should I quit now?
Waiting for him to pop the question but should I quit now?


Dear MTN,

I have a huge dilemma with my boyfriend. I am divorced with one child and am 45 years old. My boyfriend has never been married and is also 45. We've been dating for five years and I love him very much. When we first met he told me he wanted kids. I knew at that time I didn't want to have any more kids, so I told him and broke up with him right away. He told me then that he would rather have me and have no kids of his own than to have someone else just to have a child. I was obviously very happy.


I thought for sure this Christmas he was going to ask me to marry him. When I opened up my Christmas gift and saw diamond earrings instead of an engagement ring I cried. This lead to a big fight and he admitted that he was holding off asking me to marry him because he thinks he still wants kids. I broke up with him on Christmas evening.


He didn't call me until last night and asked if he could come over to talk. He told me again, the same story as five years ago that he wants me. He promised me that if we got back together that he would give up wanting to have kids. He said he would propose to me next year when he has more money and can afford an engagement ring.


What should I do? I am so confused. Thank you and happy New Year.
- Brenda

Dear Brenda,

Happy New Year to you and thank you for writing in. I am sorry that you are not going to like what I have to say. He told you how he felt in the beginning and now five years later he told you the same thing.

Only after you broke up with him both times did he say he changed his mind. Since this is the second time he told you this, I think you really need to listen to him.

I would hate to see you get hurt again if next year he says the same thing to you, for a third time! Please, look for another guy; one who does not want to have children.

Best of luck to you and I hope you find love and happiness in 2014.

 - MTN

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