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Periscope by Niall O'Dowd

Shrink demeans Phoebe Prince in death

Posted on Saturday, April 17, 2010 at 10:30 PM

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Carol Smaldino is a top psychotherapist with a column in the Huffington Post.

She devoted her latest blog to a defense of the bullies in the death of Irish school girl Phoebe Prince and asked us to understand their motivation.

This is the second such influential column in the past few days that claims that the bullies are just misunderstood and lack parental guidance. Ruth Marcus of The Washington Post wrote a similar column last week.

To both of them I say bullshit.

The bullies who made Phoebe take her own life were sadistic and pathological in their pursuit of Phoebe. They slammed her into lockers, taunted her in packs, sent her death wishes on facebook and after she died, they acted out her hanging at the school dance and degraded her memorial page on facebook with chilling insults.

These people do not deserve our sympathy they deserve prison.

Yet amazingly Smaldino and Marcus seem ready to forgive and understand.

Here are some examples of what Smaldino writes ;

"Our mandate, I feel, is that we listen to our own intolerance and prejudice and to the hatred that kills through taunting. We won't learn anything about any of it unless we understand why we hate and from where it comes....

"And what might begin to make a difference is to realize that bullies need understanding as much as the rule of law. We have long known that those who abuse are victims of abuse. There are many kids who can be reached if they are heard. And we need to say out loud that bullies are not merely cool or "in" or bad or mean, they are troubled.

I will tell you from long experience in counseling troubled children and families that if we merely blame the bullies' parents (who are already bullied by society and judged based on their capacity to "achieve" a child who proves them to be decent people), then they will only go further into hiding and fear. Or they will go further down a path of punishing their children who instead need to be listened to and known. Likewise, if we simply blame the schools, then we will do the same thing to school counselors, teachers and principals. As a result, there will be no one will be left to listen to the pain and hatred of the kids because the adults will be too afraid of getting into trouble."

See it simple, bullies need to be listened to and their parents too and all will be fine with the world.

And Freudian pigs will fly.

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KateGriffin | Apr 20, 2010, 05:05 PM EDT

Bullies need no "understanding." Their motives are sadistic. fascist, and utterly clear. Obviously, Ms. Smaldino proposes sympathy & tender understanding for Adolf Hitler too. These young women & men made free choices; they could have ignored Ms. Prince, & left her in peace. Instead, they beat, tormented, & persecuted her. Sympathy? For killers?

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gregwb57 | Apr 19, 2010, 07:03 PM EDT

This shrink is just that, a shrink, and a compleate and total J.A.

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invercauld | Apr 19, 2010, 04:33 PM EDT

I think they should get the punishment they deserve!

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pacmanisback | Apr 19, 2010, 04:18 PM EDT

I suggest a public beatdown of parents and bullies.

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lynchsteele | Apr 19, 2010, 03:21 PM EDT

Anyone who would say the killers who pushed this lovely young woman to take her own life is in serious need of their head examined and then have their ass beat raw and often. I despise violence but this is an outrage...the wicked need understanding, what they need is some old fashion schooling.

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kitcat1985 | Apr 19, 2010, 01:06 PM EDT

I think that she will change her mind and outlook when it happens to her or her children!! Whatever happened to victims, now they have become the perpertrator???

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sheera711 | Apr 19, 2010, 01:06 PM EDT

Well said Searlit.I agree 100%.

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RthrBHistCorr | Apr 19, 2010, 11:51 AM EDT

If Phoebe Price was a Latino immigrant or an immigrant from an African nation, neither of these papers would dare spin this as sympathy for the attackers.

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Searlit | Apr 19, 2010, 11:42 AM EDT

I'm all for listening to their stories and getting at the underlying issues that cause some people to bully, but only after they're prosecuted, convicted and sentenced for their crimes.

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CitizenWhy | Apr 18, 2010, 10:45 PM EDT

Of course sympathy for bullies does not apply if their children are the victims.

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proudtobeirish | Apr 18, 2010, 10:44 PM EDT

Understand what!!!! Right, this sould have NEVER happened!! Apparently they were not taught at home!! Their faces show no remorse!!! Scared? Isn't that tough #$%!! How did little Phopebe feel. Do they think she was afraid when she felt everyone was against her? And what the hell about the school authorities she went to for help!!! ADULTS!!! From what I've read would not help her

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dv727dv | Apr 18, 2010, 10:34 PM EDT

Sorry for multiple posts. Almost forgot--great column Niall--125% on target!!

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NiteAngel | Apr 18, 2010, 03:17 PM EDT

I want to know how you make someone do something? I was always told that people can't make you do something that you don't want to do. Okay so understand why we hate and from where it comes...but that doesn't mean we need to understand/forgive the bullies. They brought this upon themselves!

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CullenAbroad | Apr 18, 2010, 12:11 AM EDT

You're sooo right!!!!

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