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Manhattan Diary by Cahir O'Doherty

Why Irish gays march under their own banners in St. Pat's Parade

Posted on Friday, November 05, 2010 at 09:29 AM

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For years the final question that even well-meaning people ask about the ongoing controversy about the Saint Patrick's Day Parade is why do Irish gay groups insist on marching under their own banner?

Heterosexuals don't do it, they observe, so why should gays?

It's a good question. Here's the answer: If no one can see you, or your struggle, it's much easier to pretend you don't exist. Invisibility is the very thing that prevents you from achieving equality.

Believe it or not there are hundreds of thousands of Irish American LGBT citizens and the people who want to dismiss them out of hand are greatly helped when if they agree to airbrush themselves out of the picture. If you go quietly, you go unnoticed.

As no less a man than Gerry Adam's once observed (and gay equality groups are reluctantly discovering) in this world you get as much freedom as you take.

So the point of Irish gays marching under their own banners isn't to celebrate or promote homosexuality. They're not trying to persuade you or anyone to explore their sexual orientation. They're not insisting you embrace values you don't share.

No, they're fighting for their own lives.

Their point is counteract the fact that the only time a majority of people hear about gays in America is when they're being used as a crude pejorative.

If you're openly gay, let's face it, there are no county societies who'll be lining up to invite you; the GAA (a well-worn route to a new life in America) won't be the first organization you'll turn to; most Irish Catholic groups will look askance at you; and even the annual parade of all things Irish has gone to court to keep you out.

Talk about a Cead Mile Failte, eh?

And what does choosing Mary Higgins Clark say about the parade? She's 82, the embodiment of the values of an earlier age. And that makes anxiety about whether she'll complete the route real. We all acknowledge her achievements and class, but her selection (after President Mary McAleese's decision to decline) says something about the frozen in time outlook of the parade committee.

If Irish gays collude in the decades long campaign to sweep them under the carpet, or put them back in the closet, or if they even momentarily pretend that they have achieved legal equality with heterosexuals (when they certainly have not) they'd be foolish in the extreme.

It's completely disingenuous to ask why do you have to march under their own banners if you know that gay people don't have the same rights as you do. If you aren't daily working to support their equality under the law yourself, if you're not willing to stand with them, then perhaps you can finally appreciate now why they're standing up for themselves.

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SCVMal | Nov 09, 2010, 01:07 AM EST

Sungold, the largest number of gay people were elected to the US Congress this year! And now there are 3 openly gay Senators. They weren't elected for their good looks, but because of the respect of the voters! Now. Close your eyes...and try to imagine Macy's without gay employees! They don't have to march in the parade as a group! They ARE Macy's!! LOL!!!!

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SCVMal | Nov 09, 2010, 01:03 AM EST

But jamieLM, President Mary McAleese's refusal to be Grand Marshall was because the Parade was turned into a Roman Catholic Church event (and no longer a celebration of Irish Heritage!) which excludes Irish people who happen to be gay. The parade committee is a bunch of 15th century pharrtes!

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SCVMal | Nov 09, 2010, 12:55 AM EST

Hey "truthseeking". Your handle is a misnomer! I was accepting your thoughtful objections to my post until the end. Why the hell would any parent have to explain "STDs, felching, dental dams and the other minutiae of modern sodomy to their 6-year-olds." for ANY reason? These things are not exclusive to the gay community, but also to the "normal" heterosexual majority. I sadly think that you are the fanatic!

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maloney | Nov 08, 2010, 06:12 PM EST

The more the lgbt posters push their agenda with nonsence, the more I'm beginning to think the closet was a good idea.

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jamieLM | Nov 08, 2010, 09:27 AM EST

Wearing a wedding band does NOT necessarily mean you're straight. A man could be wearing a wedding band and be on the "down-low." A woman could be part of a lesbian couple - legally married or not. Not all married straight women/men wear their wedding bands for a variety of reasons. Some "married" women know that, secretly, they're lesbians. It's risky to make assumptions about people based on whether or not they wear wedding bands.

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hollabackgurl | Nov 07, 2010, 10:13 PM EST

It's the height of bigotry to call the LGBT equality in law struggle a sexual agenda. When women struggled for a vote and equal pay was that a sexual agenda? Its about equality under the law and thats all.

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hollabackgurl | Nov 07, 2010, 10:08 PM EST

If you wear a wedding band you do realize that you're shouting "I'm straight! Look at me, I'm straight! I'm married! Look!" right? Plus Irish Sovereignty groups, political organizations etc all march. There's room for other Irish organizations, God knows the parade could use some diversity. And seamusmoore you admit yourself your county society didn't invite you, so how is that statement false?

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jamieLM | Nov 07, 2010, 12:37 PM EST

I'm with Sungold. Have the parade to celebrate St. Patrick and being Irish and stop using it to push political and social agendas. There are many St. Pat's parades in the U.S. that manage to do just that. Everyone lines up and marches - Irish Catholics AND Irish Protestants, all marching under St. Patrick and Irish banners - just one big happy proud group. I'm sure there are Irish gays and lesbians marching, too, but they don't do so with a banner announcing it and neither do the Protestants. The focus should be on being proud of one's Irish heritage and honoring St. Patrick - period. If you don't want to do that, skip the parade. Btw, many of these parades are led by the Irish Mother of the Year. These women are always worthy of the honor to lead the parades.

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seamusmoore | Nov 07, 2010, 10:01 AM EST

I have a gay relation who marches every year under a county banner; to say "no county societies would line up to invite you" is a falsehood. They don't even check if you are active with the county society, just line up with them on St Pat's Day.

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Sungold | Nov 07, 2010, 04:40 AM EST

Sorry, I don't buy the argument that gays must march in other people's parades and carry their banners identifying themselves as gay, because they're "fighting for their lives". Why does everything always have to be about announcing "I'm gay! Gay, gay, gay! Look at me, I'm gay!" This is an Irish parade. I've never heard of any gay Irish groups involved in anything else Irish, except trying to force their way into the St. Patrick's Day parade. Are they allowed to march as a group in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? If not, are they suing Macy's or running to the news media over that? Please...if you really want to be in the parade, join one of the service organizations that march. Think about doing good for others for a change, instead of pushing your sexual agenda 24/7. You can't force people to respect you. That, like acceptance, must be earned.

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hollabackgurl | Nov 06, 2010, 01:19 PM EDT

Irish GLBT marchers won't be wearing leather thongs. For one, March 17 is damn cold in NYC; for two, it's disgusting and bigoted to say that acknowledging you're gay means you're somehow having sex by just turning up with every other Irish American group who marches. Gay people are more "normal" than you, "Truthseeking."From your comments it's clear you have more issues than National Geographic.

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truthseeking | Nov 06, 2010, 10:46 AM EDT

Dear SCVMalcolm: I'm curious as to your position on the natural and Constitutionally-protected right of the AOH or any other parade sponsor to define the rules, standards, image and message of their event. Do you support the right of both the AOH and the gay groups that sponsor the NYC Gay Pride Parade to decide what messages can be advertized on banners in their marches? I do. But do you want the government to crush our freedom of speech and assembly by determining the image and message of all our parades. I don't think you do (or at least you won't admit to championing totalitarianism). Secondly, do you agree with me that there are both public and private events that should NOT be sexualized by groups proclaiming who they want to have sex with? Shouldn't a privately organized parade celebrating St. Patrick's evangelization in Ireland be one of those G-rated family events that doesn't require parents to explain STDs, felching, dental dams and the other minutiae of modern sodomy to their 6-year-olds. I hope you agree, but I fear you're too fanatical to join the overwhelming majority of normal folks who don't want all our public events sexualized by the pathetically self-centered ILGO minority within the homosexual minority.

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peterson | Nov 05, 2010, 09:16 PM EDT

Our Lord was be a parade spectator. I wonder how he feels about this.

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SCVMal | Nov 05, 2010, 08:48 PM EDT

Kilgara. Your way of thinking is an abomination! Jesus is my guide and not Pope Benny, the Protector of those who ARE abominations: Those who rape and sexually molest innocent children, and the Bishops and Cardinals who protect these bastards from the law! More than 95% or pedophiles are heterosexual and 5% of that lot are women!

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SCVMal | Nov 05, 2010, 08:43 PM EDT

Sorry rebelforce. At least get your data STRAIGHT! The St. Patrick's Parade in NY is registered as a Religious (Roman Catholic) Parade sponsored by the Ancient (I'll say!) Order of Hibernation, hence their religious right to exclude Irish folks who happen to be gay, the other groups CHOSE to be with whom they are affiliated. The Columbus Day, Puerto Rican Day, Pulaski Day Parades, while effectively Catholic, are cultural celebrations and therefore include gays, atheists, etc. who happen to be of the particular nationality, unlike the parade of green clad bigots that sponsor the St. Patrick's Day Parade in NYC!

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