Shrapnel. Version 1.00001 - Random vaguely sporting related thoughts


Ireland beating England at Cricket yesterday was like BYU beating the Lakers.

How's the Notre Dame 'Code of conduct' evolving? Are they still working on that maybe? Will it be as strict as the BYU one? If so, will they have any students?

Am I the only one who thinks Kendrick Perkins was a little over rated, particularly offensively? Whilst undoubtedly a great team player, and by all accounts a smashing guy, he looked like Phillip Seymor Hoffman in 'Along came Polly' when shooting the rock. On offence, in general, he looked about as comfortable as a bunch of BYU honour students at a 70's Playboy Mansion orgy.

Ireland beating England at Cricket yesterday was like a high school football team beating the Bills. Wait, scratch that, Ireland beating England at Cricket yesterday was like a high school football team beating the Jets.

Arsenal looked pretty good last night beating Leyton Orient 5-0. Barcelona looked pretty bad by their standards beating Valencia 1-0. Massive Champions League second leg game coming up for them, would you be wildly shocked if Arsenal won at the Nou Camp? Having watched Barcelona every single weekend for four years running now, this is the worst I have seen them play during that stretch. Arsenal can actually win in Spain. Just remember, you heard it here first.

Chad Ochocinco is the single most entertaining 'Twit'. Discuss. (And by Twit I mean person who communicates using Twitter)

Quick, over under for Adrian Gonzalez long balls this season? 42? 42 seems right, no? or 42.5 in bookmaker speak. With the incredible protection around him (Youk, Papi, Crawford etc..) Gonzo will get his fair share of meaty fastballs. Wait, maybe 42 is kind of low?

Ireland beating England at Cricket yesterday was like a high school hockey team beating the Bruins.

Can you smoke crack in BYU? I don't specifically see it on their inane code of conduct. If it doesn't specifically say it, can you do it? I mean, in BYU is it okay for guys to dress in women’s clothing, whip each other with cheese strings while singing Lady Ga Ga songs and watching Swedish art house movies? It's not forbidden in the code of conduct.

If you are a Patriots fan, are you ready for everyone to hate you and the Patriots with renewed vitriol? If not, you better get ready, because when the penny drops and the average Joe Punter NFL fan realises the Patriots have six, count 'em, six picks in the first three rounds of the NFL draft, there's going to be hell to pay.

So speaking of football, it kind of looks like we will have an NFL season next year, right? I mean, judging by the language coming out of both camps, players and owners, it appears to be about 70% definitely going to happen, right? We are pretty stuck for an alternative. Lingerie League Football, maybe? Oh, oh, is there Lingerie Football in BYU?

You know, the single most annoying, asinine aspect of that whole ridiculous BYU code of conduct or charter of chimps or whatever you want to call it, is the section demanding 'chaste' behaviour. Chaste behaviour? What is this, Victorian England? Is kissing allowed? It is? Great. How about an 'Old Fashioned'? A 'Cincinnati bow tie'? How about an 'Angry Pirate'? That out of the question? Give me a break. You know what BYU needs, Rodney freakin Dangerfield running around causing chaos, drinking beer and streaking through the campus naked late at night. Can we organise this?

I feel like I am missing something. How do some NBA teams think having one or two stars and the rest of the roster full of scrubs is an efficient, sensible way to build a team? Surely it is obvious to all that it is better to build an actual team of decent, harmonious parts like the Magic, Spurs and or Celtics, as opposed to a couple of expensive, mercenary like 'superstars' like the Knicks and Heat. To me, the Knicks looked like a real ball club pre Carmello. If Carmello and Stoudamire hit the bench, or get injured, at all, how do the Knicks win? Again, I feel like I am really missing something on this one.

Quick! Don't think, just speak. Top five biggest clowns in professional sports right now. Go. I've got (1 through 5) Kobe, A-Roid (Sic), Ronaldo, Le Bron and Rex Ryan. What about you?

Imagine how long Matt Leinart would have lasted at BYU. Seven, eight seconds on Campus, followed by a quick expulsion?



Right, I have got one for you. What would BYU have done with Tim Tebow? Sure, straight up guy and all, but have you seen how many topless shots of Tebow are on the internet? I mean, we are talking more than Jenna Jameson here. Now, those pecs do not promote chaste behaviour, so Tebow would have been in direct conflict with the Charter of Chimpanzees, or honour code or whatever they call it. Immediate expulsion for over-sexiness?

Right so. This was like Lindsay Lohan's career. A total disaster.

Let's do it again next week.

Linkage



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