Her Majesty’s troops in Iraq, pure as the driven snow


We hit world headlines with those accusations, but what happened in the end?

After years of investigations by Her Majesty, it was clarified to the world that the Paras only responded to earlier gunfire directed against them. No soldier was found guilty of doing anything wrong at all.

They never are because Her Majesty's men stand tall on the pinnacle of military perfection.

And so it will happen again in Iraq in about three years time when the thorough investigation into these foul accusations issues a 460-page report. No way at no time did Sergeant Bert or Captain Cyril or Private Bill do anything wrong at any time. And certainly no way did Private Ruby expose her bosoms to Arab men.

And equally certainly, no way that Corporal Sid and Guardsman Wayne contemplated rape for even one moment. I can see the white pages of that report already.

When will the world finally accept the truth about Her Majesty's men?