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Could getting married ruin our relationship after eight years or do I need to commit?

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Getting close and questioning if we should marry
Getting close and questioning if we should marry

Dear MTN,

I've been dating a beautiful girl for eight years. Things are great between us and we seem to be very compatible. The only problem is that she would like to get married and I don't want to. I am very happy with the arrangement we have now. We see each other almost every day and have great sex. I wish she would spend the night at my house, but she says she will not do that until we get married.

My mother passed away two weeks ago and my girlfriend didn't come to the wake and funeral with me once she heard my ex wife and kids were going to be there. I told her that I really wanted her to be there for me for emotional support, but she said it wasn't her place to be there, with my ex there.

She has very odd values and morals and it's her way or no way. After the funeral was over she came over to my house and I told her how upset I was that she wasn't there for me. Her response was, that if I made an honest woman out of her, she would have been there. Then she said until we get married, any event that includes my ex wife, will not include her. I think that is very selfish of her and I broke up with her in anger.

It's been a week apart from her and no word from her. I really miss her. Even though I don't want to get married, should I give in and call her to make up? The sex was fantastic and I do love her. 

Thanks Maureen Tara.

 - T

Dear T,

I am guessing T isn't your real name, but you do have a real problem on your hands. The biggest problem isn't what you think that she wasn't there for you and that she said she won't be in the future under similar situations; it is that she wants to get married! And you don't!

After dating her for eight years, loving her, and having great sex with her, I have to ask you this very simple question...why don't you want to get married to this woman? What else are you looking for? You need to answer the question yourself and see if the real reason you don't want to get married to her is more important to you than losing her. If you are feeling this sad in only a week, she is not going to be easy to get over quickly. Most importantly, why would you want to get over this great girl. You found love. I suggest you figure out quickly how much having her love is worth to you, before someone else comes along and grabs your girl.

Good luck to you.
- MTN

PLEASE CONTINUE TO EMAIL IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MTN AT mtnmatchmaking@aol.com.

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