Five best and worst stories for 2011--Prince William, Irish downfall, Miley Cyrus among them

Five stories I won't want to read about in 2011:

1. Prince William and Kate. Look out as the tabloids go ballistic close to the wedding and every living thing such as footmen, man servants,butlers,ladies in waiting-- men in tights all the little girl fantasy stuff is interviewed within miles of Buckingham Palace. Tiresome already. So much gushing, so little time.

2. Ireland is screwed, buggered, f..ed, bollixed, dead, dying, miserable, gone, etc. All true maybe, but enough already -- they may just surprise us.

3. Global warming is explained endlessly despite ever more bitter winters it seems. In fact the bitter winters we are told are precisely because of global warming Can't quite figure that one out.

4. Sarah Palin shoots a hedgehog and eats it live. She seems to have shot everything else that moves. Ok we get it, -- the pioneer woman thing. Next up rat tail soup

5. Republicans/Democrats continue gridlock in Washington. Like two kids fighting endlessly over an ever smaller pie.Enough already.

Five stories I am looking forward to reading

1. Irish election sweeps in new government. After being in power 22 out of 24 years and making a right bollix of it time for new faces and story lines.

2. Repubs and Democrats together pass DREAM act. To help those kids of illegals,who through no fault of their own were brought to America as kids and know no other land. Give these kids a break people.

3. Miley Cyrus hit on head with bong. Singing career over

4. Oprah channel bombs. Only so much touchy-feely us real men can take.

5. Fox news and MSNBC combine, Warm and fuzzy as Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olberman embrace and do joint 2 hour show every night. Now whose the pinhead or worst person in the world?


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