Erin Ryan Fitzgerald, from Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts, has written a tell-all article on how her boyfriend came out as a woman while she was pregnant with their child.
Ryan Fitzgerald wrote on XOJane.com about her decision to become a parent with her boyfriend Evan Greer and how the pair are raising their son Saoirse together.
“In November of 2009, Evan and I decided to get pregnant. It didn't take long - in fact it was pretty instantaneous. And in February of 2010, Evan came out as transgender,” Ryan Fitzgerald wrote.
A musican, 27-year-old Greer describes himself on his website as radical genderqueer singer songwriter, parent, and community organizer.
Ryan Fitzgerald a graduate of Syracuse University, described the experience of being pregnant, while her boyfriend explored his new transgender identity.
“Our child was born that August. In one year, I got pregnant with my boyfriend and I gave birth with my girlfriend.”
She wrote about how the journey was an emotionally-charge one for both her and her boyfriend, how both their bodies were going through changes and how difficult it was for them to identify with each other.
She wrote frankly about how, during her pregnancy, her style standards fell while her boyfriend was exploring his own beauty and fashion.
“It was still difficult to be around hot pants and hair products, while my ass expanded and my hair frizzed out of control.”
She also wrote about how difficult it was sometimes suppress thoughts about what it was to be a real woman when she looked at her boyfriend.
“That evil little voice in my head planted there by years of gender socializing, particularly my teens, kept making biting remarks about how Evan wasn't really a woman” she wrote.
Ryan Fitzrgerald acknowledged it was difficult explaining to family and friends about Erin becoming a trans woman.
“I'm an extremely private person about certain things, so everyone knowing my bedroom business kind of killed me.”
There was an upside to the adjustment in their lives.
“There were plenty of exciting positives to having a trans partner, of course. While some may want to picket my house for damning my child to a life of gender confusion, I saw my partner's transition and gender presentation as a way to solidify our plans to raise our child as free from gender stereotypes as possible.”
The mother wrote about the couple are making their lives together work.
“I could go all-out gushy on how loving and supportive she is, and smart and talented, and a fantastic parent. But I will say that watching Evan throw up a big middle finger to the gender binary has been inspiring.
According to Greer, he has got many emails from from kids who are trying to come out as trans to their parents
"I get hundreds of emails from young queer kids saying, 'Oh, your music saved my life' or asking, 'I want to come out to my mom as trans but I don't know how to do it, how did you do it?' And that's what keeps me going."
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