One heartbroken mother who lost her son to suicide is trying to come to terms with the unbearable loss of her son by sending him on one final journey.
Hallie Twomey, is using social media to enlist the help of strangers to scatter her sons ashes from Massachusetts to Japan in the hope that her adventure-loving son can become part of the world he left behind.
C.J. Twomey died by suicide nearly four years ago, upset about not making a special forces team with the Air Force now his mother wants her adventure-loving son to become part of the world he left behind.
It started with a simple request on Facebook to help C.J. - who was only 20 when he died - 'see the mountains that he never got to climb, see the vast oceans that he would have loved, see tropical beaches and lands far and away'.
The post was shared by nearly 100 of her friends, and soon even strangers started offering to scatter C.J.'s ashes in their hometowns, on family vacations or just somewhere beautiful.
Speaking to the Mail Online Twomey said “'I don't want him to have to sit in an urn for my benefit for whatever rest of time that we have,' she said. 'I wanted to give him something. I'm trying to give him a journey.'
The heart broken mother regrets rolling her eyes at her son instead of hugging him as he stormed out of their home after an argument.
A few minutes later, C.J. shot himself in his car in front of the family home and this is something that has haunted his mother ever since.
His mother says “C.J., thrived on adventure like jumping out of airplanes, was upset about not making a special forces team with the Air Force.
After being honorably discharged, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life, she said. But she never thought he would do what he did that day.
Her decision to help set her son free is something that is unbearable painful for a parent but one the Irish American mother feels she needs to do.
Her mission is simple along with his ashes, Twomey sends a note and a small photo of smiling C.J., wearing a Boston Red Sox shirt with sunglasses propped up on his head.
She asks the recipient to do four things: Think about C.J., think about the people he gave life to through organ donation, tell him that his mom and dad loved him and tell him that his mom is sorry.
For Twomey, finding peace has proved more difficult.
'I want to find peace in this. I want to feel better, but my guilt is so intense so I haven't yet. I don't know if it will,' she said.
'I hope. I just have hope that maybe this will help in some way, because for 3.5 years, nothing has.'
When most of C.J.'s ashes have been scattered, Twomey hopes to put together a book with all the notes and photos people have sent her. The proceeds would go to the New England Organ Bank, she said.
Many of those offering to help scatter C.J.'s ashes have also been affected by suicide or lost children. The kindness has been overwhelming, she said.
'Really, why would a complete stranger want to help us?' she said. 'I really think people are doing whatever they can, even if it's a small thing, to ease our burden or to embrace life.'
For anyone affected by this story no matter what problems you are dealing with, we urge you to reach out and seek help. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.
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