Robert Pattinson

Oh dear! Robert Pattinson is going to be the subject of a full-length documentary at the tender age of 23.

Revolver Entertainment has stated that the documentary “Robsesses" will offer “an exclusive insider's look into the world of R-Patz, following his path from a young schoolboy, to his early modeling and acting jobs, all the way through to landing his dazzling role in the ‘Twilight’ saga."

Well that should take all of five minutes.

Snooty British kid, often dresses as girl as child, grows up rich and becomes star as pale-faced vampire in silly movie based on even sillier book.

The stuff of great drama my friends.


Hopefully they will sex it up with pictures of Rob showering.

Hmm that might be hard to do as he apparently never bothers to wash.

Maybe some dramatic footage of that taxi running him down in New York as he fled from hysterical fans. Such drama!

Er, it appears that may not have happened either.

Made up – a PR man's invention.

Okay then, how about Rob staying faithful to his one true love and how
at heart he's a great romantic?


Rob's fair game for every skank in the movie business – and good luck to him.

Well they can always do him thinking profound thoughts – maybe
Jimmy Fallon in a tree could fill that role. The Irish-American talk show host has more screen cred in his little finger.

I know, Rob is the repository of every teen girl's fantasies of the dark brooding Heathcliff kind a guy. Except the teens have no idea who Heathcliff is.

Never mind – it will still be a best seller up there with “Gone with the Wind,” which is where Rob will be once the  “Twilight” zone passes.

Then its bye, Rob.