Irish Matchmaker

Hello my single readers! Now is the perfect time to be pro-active before this holiday comes and goes. My standard advice to everyone who is looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend is always - if you see someone and you think they are attractive, give them a smile. I know what you're thinking, if only it were that simple. But it's a start! Dear MTN, My name is Audrey and I just turned 40 years old. I work all the time and haven't dated in years. My friends are all telling me I have to do something to try to meet someone. I know that's the truth, but truthfully, since it's been so long, I think I've given up. I really don't care if I meet someone or not. Is there any advice you can give me to get the feeling back to at least want to meet someone. Or is it okay to just stay alone and be happy? Dear Audrey, If you were truly happy being alone, you wouldn't have taken the time from your busy working schedule to write me for advice. That's the good news. Therefore, deep down the feeling of wanting to meet someone is there. You have it, you just now need to face the reality of how to go about finding him. Unfortunately, that's the hard part! I can assure you, you won't find him working all the time. I'm sure you realize you need to do something different to get different results. I think it's important for you also to think about if you one day want children. Since we already came up with the fact that you want someone in your life, let's just say you are looking to one day getting married, and would like to have kids. If that is the case, we need to get moving! Sign up for every networking activity there is at work. Tell everyone you know you are single and seriously looking for Mr. Right. Look up some charitable events in your neighborhood and join one. Go join a sporting class. Be aware of my "six month rule." For those of you who know me and have been reading my column for a while you already know this. But if you are new to my column my "six month rule" is...once you decide you are ready for marriage, try everything possible to meet someone, especially my suggestions above. Remember though to always stay away from the dangerous vehicles such as the Internet. If after six months you haven't found your perfect partner, don't waste any more time and seek a professional. Good Luck to you! Dear MTN, I can't mention names with this question. My friend from high school and I are as close as brothers. We are both 30 years old, so we've known each other for years. His wife is very nice, but they are total opposites. About six months ago he started telling me that they aren't getting along and that he's unhappy. Once a week for the past few years they've always invited me over for dinner. I've noticed myself lately that they are pulling apart from one another. It's even gotten to the point that I don't feel comfortable going over there for dinner anymore. Well a month ago my friend admitted to me that he met someone at our local bar. He said he hasn't felt this happy in years and doesn't know what to do. Personally I don't approve of cheating. I think he should be honest with his wife if he is that unhappy. Especially since I know and like his wife, I feel very uncomfortable knowing this information. I feel very bad for her. The worst part is last week I offered to help clean up while my friend was watching television and she asked me if I've noticed a change in him and that she's afraid he's cheating on her. She was so hurt and upset, I didn't know what to do and I still don't. I told her I didn't notice anything, out of respect for my friend. It bothered me a lot to lie to her. Do you think I should tell my friend what his wife asked me? And do you think I should tell his wife the truth. I really don't want on my conscience that when she finds out she'll know I lied to her. Dear Anonymous, First of all, when it comes to secrets my belief has always been - you should never tell anyone else's secrets. They are just not your secrets to tell. It's up to the person to do the right thing and tell the truth. As for telling your friend that his wife is on to him...absolutely tell him! Hopefully knowing that he might get caught, and especially knowing how hurt she was will knock some sense into him. If he asks your advice, hopefully you'll tell him to seek counseling. You should also mention how uncomfortable this situation has been for you. That might also help him realize what he is doing is WRONG! We should all be lucky and have friends as good as you! Maureen Tara Nelson is a private matchmaker that specializes in singles that are ready for a committed relationship. For a free consultation call Maureen personally at 1888-31-MATCH. You can also check out her website at Mtnmatchmaking.com. To write in your questions for the column, please email them to Mtnelson@optonline.net.

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