Robert Pattinson dreamed of being a rapper

As we all know, Robert Pattinson recently called to the home of some diehard fans of the 'Twilight" series to help personally promote his new movie.

Which makes me think what should you do if R Patz comes calling?

Here are five suggestions:

A nice cup of tea. Brits love tea and Pattinson is no exception-- they usually like it strong as well.

Hide the photos of Jimmy Fallon. The NBC host gets under Robert's skin, despite all the nice stuff written about them, with his portrayals of R Patz.

Don't mention “Remember Me.” With gross takings of only $40 million or thereabouts, the movie never did take off - a sore point no doubt with Rob.

Hide the copy of “Details”  magazine and the interview where Robert stated he hated vaginas. That started a flood of gay rumors about Rob -- far from the truth his backers say.

Order some marmite. Don't know what that is? It is the staple food of millions of Brits - -and Robert allegedly likes the stuff. Makes him feel at home.