Irish American Jimmy Fallon is the funniest man on television.
His latest Robert Pattison skit, “Robert Pattinson is bothered,” shows Jimmy dressed as the "Twilight" star up in the vampire's tree meditating on life .
Being Robert Pattinson, his observations are skin deep - such as, he dislikes Snickers, and he hates “Shark Week” because sharks were stealing the attention away from him, when they’re just like him – looking for blood all the time.
Here are my top 10 things I think might bother the empty-headed and overrated Mr. Pattinson:
Robert Pattinson is bothered… because Americans don't know what Boxing Day is. That's the Brit holiday on the day after Christmas that no one has a clue how it got its name – least of all Robert Pattinson.
Robert Pattinson is bothered... because his sisters dressed him as a girl when he was young – and he liked it so much.
Robert Pattinson is bothered… because vampires aren't real and an Irishman named Bram Stoker invented them when he wrote “Dracula.”
Robert Pattinson is bothered... because no matter how much he doesn't wash, some girls find him all the more attractive. What would happen if he washed, he wonders.
Robert Pattinson is bothered... because he hasn't won an Oscar yet. Playing a fake vampire living in a tree and cozying up to your leading lady doesn't make it automatically, which bugs him.
Robert Pattinson is bothered... because Jay Leno never asked him to be one of those stupid kids who can show off their idiocy when he asks them a question. Robert is sure he'd get at least one answer right.
Robert Pattinson is bothered... because he was not one of the Beatles, who are the only British stars he believes who are more famous than him.
Robert Pattinson is bothered... because he thought harass was two words when it came to women.
Robert Pattinson is bothered... because the tabloids won't leave him alone, even when his publicists call ahead to tell them where he will be.
Robert Pattinson is bothered... because he's Robert Pattinson trapped as a teen vampire for ever more –and Jimmy Fallon sees right through him.