The top ten funniest tips given to tourists in Ireland

Don’t fall for the tomfoolery, the locals are having you on!

BERNIE MALONE,

IrishCentral Staff Writer

Published Tuesday, October 18, 2011, 7:45 AM

Updated Tuesday, October 18, 2011, 11:28 AM

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Locals could well be pulling your leg - watch out for the Dublin wit

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Pranksters will tell you that all traditional musicians in pubs are strictly teetotal. Don't fall for it!

When visiting the old sod, the locals can sometimes wind up tourists for their own amusement. "Dublin Wit" is a new book by Des MacHale and offers some guidance on figuring out who the pranksters are.

Here are the top ten pieces of misleading advice for tourists he says have been tried.

1. On boarding the DART (local train system) in Dublin, it is customary to shake hands with all the passengers.

2. Dublin is known as the City of Singing Bus Drivers. Ask for your favorite song and they will be happy to oblige.

3. Ladies of the night in Dublin traditionally dress as female policemen. They will resist your approaches to add to the excitement of the occasion.

4. All traditional musicians in pubs are strictly teetotal. Never insult these men by offering to buy them alcoholic drinks. Raspberry cordial is their preferred tipple.

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5. On first visiting a church, it is customary to drink the entire contents of the holy water font.

6. Most restaurants provide a dish with small change for the convenience of tourists.

7. Entry to Croke Park (Ireland’s national stadium) on All-Ireland day is free for visitors as long as they are wearing their chosen county colors.

8. Most small shops provide racks of postcards free for visitors, take as many as you like.

9. Why not buy a page from The Book of Kells in the library of Trinity College? The cost is just ten euro and a self service system operates.

10. Have you tried the famous echo in the reading room of the National Library?

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7 Comments

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ballyhip | Oct 21, 2011, 11:32 AM EDT

Waste of kb space.

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ballindaggin | Oct 20, 2011, 09:24 AM EDT

When I last went to visit some friends in Paris they greeted me with a kiss on both cheeks,when I arrived home I told my mates about this,they said thats normal in France.I know that, but I was tieing my shoelaces at the time.

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bogsidebunny | Oct 19, 2011, 09:54 AM EDT

As usual, these inane "suggestions" are meant to embariss or even cause the American tourist to be assaulted by certain members of the public or even chastised by the Gardai. But the Irish will spare no expense to have a wack at the Yanks, brecause they are insolent loud and have far too much money and need to be taken down a notch.

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pugsmom | Oct 18, 2011, 10:46 AM EDT

In a remote area of France, many years ago, I had one local tell me that a particular phrase meant, "I have enjoyed visiting with you," (or a close approximation of that.) Having had a marvelous high school French teacher, who didn't mind teaching us some of the more "colorful" colloquialisms, I knew that I was NOT saying "I have enjoyed "visiting" with you!" (You may fill in your own version of "visiting!") To this day, wherever I travel, I try and learn a few common sense, polite phrases in the host country's language, and I ALWAYS pay close attention to body language and facial expressions of the speaker and any of his/her companions...there are more ways of "speaking" than just uttering words, and eyes, body posture and movements can be dead giveaways to "having your chain yanked!"

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antoman | Oct 18, 2011, 10:37 AM EDT

On entering a pub it is customary to remove one's shoes, hand them to the publican and ask for the pub slippers.

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TheOriginalWesW | Oct 18, 2011, 09:45 AM EDT

Loved the article, made me smile, thanks Bernie!

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Chieftain | Oct 18, 2011, 08:24 AM EDT

Wouldn't this be more of a list of common sense? I know cultures vary but if someone said this to me in any country, I would tell them to bugger off. "shake hands of everyone on the bus...don't buy a musician a drink..." do me a favor...

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