Ireland needs a new name

Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2011 at 07:15 AM

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I was reading John Spain's column (here) and it occurred to me that really, we should change our name. Ireland should change its name. We should go into the nearest court and legally change the name of the country.

We should change the name of the country for so long as we're not an independent nation, but one that is in hock to the EU and IMF (mostly the EU). The so-called 'bailout' fund of €85bn ($117bn) that Ireland received from the EU/IMF back in November is no gift. It's a loan. One that has to be paid back. With interest. At a punitive interest rate.

The bailout is intended to ensure that the Irish people pay all the debts stupidly/recklessly incurred by Irish banks, who borrowed the money from stupid and reckless German banks. Yes, we are debt slaves who are being whipped into line by our EU masters in order to save the European banks. We are slaves or vassals as one Irish member said in the European Parliament recently.

So we should change our name to reflect our new status and, maybe only vaguely, to decouple the name Ireland from the mess our leaders got us into.

There is precedence for this. Back in the 1990s recording star Prince changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol {Photo} as the first step to his "ultimate goal of emancipation from the chains that bind me to Warner Brothers" when he was in dispute with the record company over control over his music and money.

Unlike Prince, who changed his name in an effort to emphasize that he was not the record company's slave, I think Ireland should change its name to do just the opposite: to ensure everyone knows we are slaves. Vassals of the EU.

So we should change our name to emphasize our new position as vassals, but to what?

I'm particularly drawn to EU-85. We owe €85bn after all. Or, now that Mr. Johnson of the Cincinnati Bengals is no longer using it, how about EU-Ochocinco? It's got a modern, hip sound, possibly too cool for a nation of vassals, but it also has that multi-lingual, EU feel that our slave masters are so keen on. And it beautifully sums up who we are today.

I can already see it at the airport: 100,000 welcomes to EU-Ochocinco.

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11 comments

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CitizenWhy | Feb 08, 2011, 07:50 AM EST

What about The Irish Unfree State?

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jacersagain | Feb 05, 2011, 05:45 PM EST

A ye messer John! No wonder you call yerself The Yank! Ye can pull me other leg now. I might laugh this time :-))))

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Monsoonman | Feb 04, 2011, 11:42 AM EST

Hola Amigo (Lad)...Really no need to travel to Mexico, Mexico travelled to me, aqui en estado unidos. You need to learn to speak some spanish here (spanglish), in order to get along in the higher circles of commerce....But it is always nice to visit me favs. in old Mexico and see the most startling blue eyed dark haired people, descendants of a scot who looked for riches in mexico and left behind his mark/ descendents in Bahia De las Angeles...Check it out.

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seanomelbourne | Feb 04, 2011, 04:25 AM EST

Haven't you left for Mehico yet Mman? mui bein!

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Monsoonman | Feb 03, 2011, 09:53 PM EST

Leave it to the Roamans, they had a way with words.

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Towngate | Feb 03, 2011, 07:25 PM EST

Sean:In a funny sort of way you are right.It is said the place was named by the Romans when they popped over to have a decco but couldn't stand the dreadful weather or find anybody doing anything; so they assumed if there was anybody there, they must be asleep somewhere.So they called it " Hibernia - the place of the hibernating people". So my suggestion for Ireland today is " Ainrebih " subtitled:' Gnipeels dna Drawkcab'. - - - - (No prizes for working it out!) Slainte!

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seanomelbourne | Feb 03, 2011, 05:24 PM EST

Let's call it Hibernia and pretend that the E.U. doe's not exist. Hibernia will then have no debt The European banks can go f### themselves.Adams got it right regardless of whether you support him or not.He's the only party leader in Hibernia with the guts to tell the international bankers where to go."The Yank"may be humorous in the above article but his central theme is correct.

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oldboreen | Feb 03, 2011, 02:57 PM EST

Well the item filled an empty space I guess.

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GeorgeDillon | Feb 03, 2011, 01:10 PM EST

A really dumb article. About as funny as a mouth ulcer.

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TheYank | Feb 03, 2011, 12:47 PM EST

McSpartacus

I like that last one. #IE85 - makes it easy to do a Twitter search for all the stories about this country. Yes, I like that one a lot.

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McSpartacus | Feb 03, 2011, 11:15 AM EST

Airstrip 85? ECB a/c #IE85?