Kanye West's worst mistake: French booze

Posted by wolfhound at 9/16/2009 3:33 PM EDT



It didn’t take long for Kanye West to apologize for his behavior at Sunday night’s MTV Video Music Awards.

Of course, it helped that the rapper was thrown out of Radio City Music Hall shortly after snatching the mic from first-time VMA winner Taylor Swift to let everyone know he thought Beyoncé deserved the award for best female video. (Yeah, right!)

The reason for unruly, uncivilized, thug-like behavior like his is usually easy: West is a rapper.

But in this case, there are extenuating circumstances. First, he is a fecking dope. Second, of all the best, most high-spirited spirits in the world -- and we all know what country they come from (IRELAND!) -- West chose to get wasted on Hennessy cognac.

Despite the Irish name and some little bit of history in God's country, Hennessy is about as Irish as Inspector Clouseau, who is about ten times as smart as West.

What looks like Irish whiskey in the photo -- which would have kept West safely unconscious in his Radio City seat or maybe naked on Sixth Avenue -- was instead a cheap brew made by the French ultramegaconglomeration LVMH, which makes overpriced perfumes, purses, and this vile rockgut.

One sip, and voila! Frankenstein West!

Next time around, Kanye, stop by a nice Irish pub or quality liquour emporium and pick up something made in Ireland. You may not win best anything, but you won't be Best Arse, either.