'Irish Viagra,' and the law about Irish jokes

Yes, the Irish Viagra (photo at left, note special Celtic color) joke will follow this short and informative lesson. Please stay tuned.

As a renowned expert and a professional expert as well, I often receive so-called "Irish jokes" in the course of my highly intellectual and serious research in advanced expertise at university.

Many unenlightened people turn to me with great hope as Saint Patrick's Day beckons, begging that I (again) tell them the centuries-old rules and regulations regarding the telling of Irish jokes.

The original law dates from the time of Jesus Christ (yes, HIM), and, while it has been amended a few times in the Ottomanolean and Napoleonicusean eras, the original law is still very much intact.

If I may quote from the original Latin, you will quickly see my point:

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet 'Irish jokes,' consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident 'Irish jokes,' sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."

Although this simple law requires little elaboration, there are those who can read the self-explanatory passage above and still remain puzzled.

For their benefit, I will simply render an (expert) opinion on the law: "If you're not Irish or don't have Irish blood, keep your feckin' Irish jokes to yourself."

There.

Now, without further ado, as one Irish Wolfhound to another (or at least to those with Irish and/or Irish canine blood), the Irish joke of the day:

Irish Viagra

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an Irish Viagra. Slip the tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee, and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a strange twinkle in his eye! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Freakin' Jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!