The Wolfhound

Once again, the Irish have come to the rescue of civilization. It's truly the nation where you can spell "progress" with a capital "pee."

What gentleman has not tired of the hours wasted over a lifetime by flushing urinals in the men's room? While it does afford a precious moment for the relieved user to compose himself for appearance in a more-public place -- and is also a clever mental distraction to those for whom "getting started" can be a problem -- it is also undeniable that a great deal of water is used with all this flushing.

And for what? Have we forgotten about a little thing called "gravity"? Fortunately, Irish scientists have not, and have come up with the non-flushing waterless urinal, which is even now being tested in the harshest possible environments: the boy's restrooms in Ireland middle schools.

This news item really needs no comment from your pal Wolfie, who gladly would have raised his hind leg in support of this Irish patriot!

ROSCOMMON, IRELAND -- A drunken unemployed plasterer who was found urinating on the French loaves section of a large supermarket in protest at the infamous handball incident in the France vs Ireland World Cup qualifier, was this week given a suspended sentence, fined and bound over to keep the peace.

Frances "Smokie" Larkin of County Roscommon pleaded guilty to the incident at Maher's ValueStore supermarket, Killareagh, one week after the match which Ireland controversially drew after the French goal was deemed to have scored despite a blatant handball by French striker Thierry Henry.

Patrick was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Patrick was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.