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Tragic suicide of head of Irish Democrats Abroad ---- Recalling Kate Fitzgerald, a woman who shone so brightly

Posted on Saturday, November 26, 2011 at 06:51 PM

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Kate Fitzgerald was a bright bubbly girl, just 25, a daughter of friends of mine who moved back to Ireland from California.

She was head of Irish Democrats Abroad and was doing a spectacular job with an organization that had had gone from strength to strength.

I spoke to the Irish Democrats Abroad a few years ago and well remember how well Kate managed the night, a vivacious and warm person who I was glad to see had everything in place, and delivered a great opening speech.

I met her dad Tom and her mother Sally that night after many years of not meeting with them.

They had settled back in Cork after Tom moved his family back home. His family and mine are next door neighbors in West Kerry for generations. I remember congratulating them on such a lovely young woman as Kate

Then just recently, an unbelievable tragedy struck.

Kate FitzGerald took her young life, only 25 years old, with a combination of pills and alcohol.

She took it after the Irish Times had agreed to accept a piece from her anonymously stating that she was recovering from a suicide attempt and outlining what was important when people were possibly suicidal.

Between the Times accepting it and it being published she had died.

The Times editor Peter Murtagh who took her piece has written a moving piece in The Irish Times about her death and the wonderful young woman he knew.

In the piece she wrote for him she referred to an earlier attempt and how friends had dissuaded her and she sought help and was admitted to hospital.

“I signed a form with an unknown level of alcohol and pills in my system,” she wrote. “For all intents and purposes, my admission was voluntary. In reality I was too mortified not to follow the wishes of my seemingly put-upon friends, not to survive for the sake of my job, and far too blinded by the smoke and mirrors of depression and self-inflicted harm to realize what I was doing.”

“I write in the hope that this grabs someone, anyone, and makes them think twice about what they may lose by not asking the question. Seek guidance. Seek insight. For when you ask a question – a true question – only then can you receive an answer. And answers.”

In school Kate was bullied, mainly because she stood out with her American accent. Despite that she went on to a highly successful career in public relations and latterly as head of Democrats Abroad where she became a familiar media figure.

As Murtagh wrote: "But the very qualities that made Kate special might also have marked her out in a manner not to her advantage. The bright kid with the American accent was bullied.

“She was tough,” says Sally, “but not as tough as we thought. She had her own style. She stood out. She was single-minded, knew what she was about, what she wanted.”

“She loved the adrenalin of being head of Democrats Abroad,” says her mother Sally. “She was so stylish; she was in PR, she knew how to present herself,” says Tom.

But under the surface all was not well.

Tom says: “I think she felt in over her head. I think she was unable to cope with the value system that often exists in journalism and PR. She was hooked on the adrenalin of power, the pressure, the deadlines – but, you know, it was all too much for her.”

On her Facebook page there was a host of well wishers, distraught by the news “Such a loss of a beautiful, smart and inspirational girl. In even a short time, she made a huge impact,” wrote Laura.

“Kate was a truly radiant personality. The world is a lesser place without her,” wrote Pat Lewis.

“I feel so incredibly privileged to have known Kate, to have tried to be as knowledgeable and as passionate and as damn good a dancer as she was,” wrote Alan.

Kate’s ashes were scattered at Sea Ranch, a holiday resort in Sonoma County, in Northern California, a place she knew and loved. “She’s there now with the whales and California sea lions,” says Tom.

And we have an abiding memory of a wonderful girl, whose life ended all too soon and so tragically.

May she rest in peace.




15 Comments

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God Bless this young woman and her devastated family; may they all find peace. Someday science will discover why the Irish are so susceptible to depression and alcoholism. I wasn’t talked about for generations but we know it was there. Neither affliction is a weakness, nor can be overcome by strength; only by one day unlocking the true cause can families be truly helped.
Another thing that is troubling is that some of the major clinical depressions, such as bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder (BPD), are somewhat difficult to diagnose and then find the exact right treatments. Teenage years and young adulthood is when these conditions become manifest. But their treatments are not impossible and the patients can live full lives with proper care. The problem is when they don't know what is happening to themselves and they "self-medicate" with alcohol and/or drugs. How many tragedies and crimes could be avoided with better follow-up. There are recent estimates up to 35% of male prisoners and 25% of female prisoners in the USA have BPD. 10% of BPD suffers are prone to suicide. Without becoming "invasive," we must learn how to better become our brothers' keepers.
this is so sad she was young life can be hard but young people need help to realize whatever is wrong it will get better prayers for her family.
Maybe Kate realised California held better prospects for a better, more fulfilling life than the dismal, dreary Irish life-style, which so many Americans fantasise about. She was trapped ina world she dreaded and from which she only had one escape route. RIP, Kate.
Niall, like so many, suicide has a very personal history for those close to me. I call it an abyss, that many have no idea how dismal and sad it can be. The comments are indicative of how suicide affects so many. I think a few of us also know that there are many ways to end life prematurely without it seeming to be suicide. As always, not a pleasant topic but you have done a great job of bringing this incredible woman's story to light. peace
Niall, perhaps in time we Irish will recognize de Nile is not a river in Egypt. Bullying is an unfortunate and appalling symptom of an ego driven society, but alcohol is often at the root of many suicides.
Thank you for making this a personal real tribute and honoring the memory of a beautiful and talented young woman.
My late friend, an artist named Richard, spoke about his suicidal tendencies before shooting himself with a rifle after a quarrel with his girl friend. I regret not doing something, and I resolved never to hear another person talk about taking their own lives without trying to get them into treatment. I hope that those who were aware of Kate's problems realize that it was wrong to do nothing and also resolve to intervene on behalf of anyone in the future who confides that he or she is having suicidal thoughts. It's too late for Kate, but remembering her cries for help and tragic end will hopefully motivate others to save their friends and loved ones from a similar fate.
Niall, I agree she was suffering from clinical depression, a problem I have to wrestle with on occasion. But at 60 I have lived my life. Everything from now on is by the grace of God. Kate's death is sad because she was so young and so talented. May her soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.
This story is very tragic to hear but I do not think she should be alone on this. Today's society is so Strasse and we shall accomplish so much in so little time so people are not really with himself. I am sending my thoughts and prayers to the survivors and to her next with such a loss.
I read the Irish Times coverage of this before seeing Niall's take and found it saddening but more hopeful that its publication would help other people realize their strengths rather than their frailties and seek proper medical attention. Whether it was bullying or personal insecurities that led to taking her own life isn't worth arguing about as much as the increasing occurrence in Ireland and elsewhere these days.
So sad. To be overwhelmed with pressure and be in a depressed state while the world is going through such a chaotic time, and she was so young. May she rest in peace.
Her suicide was the obvious result of clinical depression, not "bullying" when she was a schoolgirl. She should have been receiving medical and psychiatric treatment. Having lived with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder for 30 years resulting from Vietnam service I think I have a better handle on this than Niall does.
It is inexcusable the author would use the death of this woman to speak to the 'bullying' she "suffered" which I suppose he would have us believe formed a 'reason' FOR her suicide. The author should maybe keep his PERSONAL feelings and AGENDA to himself. If a simple accent were all it would take to have someone commit suicide then the Irish would not be well represented in any country of the world. For they'd all be dead of suicide. Imho.
"For when you ask a question – a true question – only then can you receive an answer. And answers" Rest in Peace Kate
 




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